It Takes a Village
Since I've been pregnant, I have heard an expression used several times in regard to child rearing: "It takes a village..." Conceptually, I understood this from the get-go. I'm sure as I walk my path into motherhood that I will grok this even more. As I approach the portal of change that childbirth is, I am reveling in the truth of this statement. So many people have contributed so much to my experience already: The mothers I have looked to for guidance on equipment and experience; the families that have passed gear and clothing to us to lessen the need for us to spend a mint on transitional items that are only needed for a short time; the co-workers, family, and friends who brought baby gifts to my shower; the women I am meeting in my community who I will grow to be friends with as we share this experience of having infants and toddlers together. I look around my house and see so much that was a gift for our coming baby. It is touching me deeply to know that so many people are caring for us as a young family.
I think that this is an especially valuable lesson for me because I have tended to be a very independent and self-reliant person since childhood. I tend to find myself caring for not only my own needs, but for the needs of others as well. Accepting people's help hasn't come naturally to me. It is something that I reluctantly accept when I am in dire straights and am fully aware that I am too sick or too needy to continue on without aid.
So, this is a lesson from the universe about accepting the generosity of others. Meanwhile, I am working to release the former habit of clutching to possessions. I came to realize during this move that I had carted some things around with me for more than a decade. How does someone have the same incense for 15 years and not finish it and not get rid of it? How does someone move an empty picture frame that they never liked in the first place from house-to-house-to-house. In total, this frame saw the inside of at least five houses but it was never used. These are just a couple of examples of things that I finally recognized myself clinging to for no good reason. Upon self-examination, I believe that the root of this was because of an underlying fear that I would not be able to replace these things if I let them go. I have accumulated a mass of things, and there is some feeling of security in knowing that I have them around me, just in case I fail in the future and am unable to right my footing and hold my ground.
As I write this, it seems irrational. I guess that I should admit that it is irrational, but it is also past tense. I vowed not to move that incense again. And that photo frame is already at Good Will. Additionally, I have gone through my toiletries and rid myself of the toothbrushes I collected from the guest houses in Japan (in case we had a guest and they needed a toothbrush) and the hotel size shampoos that I retained from Greece, Hawaii, and Thailand. I found a women's homeless shelter and delivered these items in a large shopping bag. Someone will enjoy them. In fact, someone may be grateful for them. And I am grateful to have them gone.
It's been a long time since I've had that feeling of lightness that comes from helping other people. I realized that I used to feel like that a lot; I used to perform many random acts of kindness to help ease the suffering in the world. As I near motherhood and I feel less inclined to donate money to organizations because our income is shrinking even as our family budgeting needs increase, I am happy to remember that I can give of myself in other ways and reap the rewards of knowing that I've genuinely made someone's day.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Preparing for the Move
It's been a busy weekend. We are moving next weekend, and have taken on the job of painting our new abode in the meantime. My husband has finished painting the living room. It looks great. I'm a little concerned about the short timeline for him to finish the rest of the house. It took about 2 full days of work to do the living room. He has 2 bedrooms & the hallway left to start & complete by Sunday. Though I am supportive of his efforts, it's really hard not to prod him forward. He has a tendency to get stuck on the little details - the touch-up work from one room instead of the primer for the next. I love this about him. I am concerned, however, that he won't have time to do the rest of the job. In fact, I can be honest here and say that I can't imagine how he's going to do it. I don't think it's possible. If he had people scheduled to help him each day this week, I think that it could work out. But since he has only one person lined up for 4pm tomorrow - and his Dad's scheduled to come over for dinner at about 6pm...
So, I am packing up the house to free his time up for him to do paying work and for him to eradicate the brown that currently pervades the walls of our new home. (Who would paint shady bedrooms dark brown?) This is a bit harder than it may seem on the surface. I am 33 weeks pregnant as of tomorrow. I could be giving birth in as little as 5 weeks. My belly is now an obstacle that I move around when bending over. And my energy level isn't what it once was. I can't lift boxes once they are packed, so I have to hop-scotch around the house leaving a parcel here-and-there as I go, until D is able to move them for me. I'm making progress, but it feels slow. I just paused a moment to count how many boxes I've packed today. SEVEN. Though I wish it were more, the truth is that I couldn't have done more.
Today I:
Woke up
Made breakfast
Called the moving company re: details of the move
Groomed myself
Walked to the grocery store
Bought supplies for deviled eggs, as well as a few necessities pre-move
Walked home - carrying above groceries
Cleaned the kitchen
Boiled eggs for deviled eggs
Left them to cool in an ice bath
Walked to the children's clothing store down the street to get a last minute addition to our baby shower gift
Walked home
Wrapped baby shower gift
Coiffed myself
Went to baby shower
Came home with about 20 boxes - the hosts of the shower just moved
Packed 7 boxes
Made dinner
Ate dinner
Cleaned the kitchen
Blogging
It's been a busy weekend. We are moving next weekend, and have taken on the job of painting our new abode in the meantime. My husband has finished painting the living room. It looks great. I'm a little concerned about the short timeline for him to finish the rest of the house. It took about 2 full days of work to do the living room. He has 2 bedrooms & the hallway left to start & complete by Sunday. Though I am supportive of his efforts, it's really hard not to prod him forward. He has a tendency to get stuck on the little details - the touch-up work from one room instead of the primer for the next. I love this about him. I am concerned, however, that he won't have time to do the rest of the job. In fact, I can be honest here and say that I can't imagine how he's going to do it. I don't think it's possible. If he had people scheduled to help him each day this week, I think that it could work out. But since he has only one person lined up for 4pm tomorrow - and his Dad's scheduled to come over for dinner at about 6pm...
So, I am packing up the house to free his time up for him to do paying work and for him to eradicate the brown that currently pervades the walls of our new home. (Who would paint shady bedrooms dark brown?) This is a bit harder than it may seem on the surface. I am 33 weeks pregnant as of tomorrow. I could be giving birth in as little as 5 weeks. My belly is now an obstacle that I move around when bending over. And my energy level isn't what it once was. I can't lift boxes once they are packed, so I have to hop-scotch around the house leaving a parcel here-and-there as I go, until D is able to move them for me. I'm making progress, but it feels slow. I just paused a moment to count how many boxes I've packed today. SEVEN. Though I wish it were more, the truth is that I couldn't have done more.
Today I:
Woke up
Made breakfast
Called the moving company re: details of the move
Groomed myself
Walked to the grocery store
Bought supplies for deviled eggs, as well as a few necessities pre-move
Walked home - carrying above groceries
Cleaned the kitchen
Boiled eggs for deviled eggs
Left them to cool in an ice bath
Walked to the children's clothing store down the street to get a last minute addition to our baby shower gift
Walked home
Wrapped baby shower gift
Coiffed myself
Went to baby shower
Came home with about 20 boxes - the hosts of the shower just moved
Packed 7 boxes
Made dinner
Ate dinner
Cleaned the kitchen
Blogging
Thursday, April 24, 2008
I've got 8 weeks and I still have a ton on my list too.
- In Process - Make arrangements for maternity leave with my clients
- DONE! - Finalize the registry
- DONE! - Choose music to put on the shower favor music CD
- Go to my shower
- Buy whatever is left after the shower
- DONE! - Find a bigger apartment (we live in a 1 bedroom)
- DONE! - Pick paint colors
- DONE! - Prep rooms to paint
- In Process - Pack
- Move
- Unpack
- Nest
- DONE! - Buy car seat
- Install car seat
- In Process - Make a packing list for the hospital
- Wash baby clothes/blankets (NOTE - an experienced mom told me not to wash everything you get. You might not use it all and if the tags are attached you can exchange the clothes for something you'll use.)
- Pack for the hospital
- DONE! - Go to second "Preparing for Child Birth Class"
- Go to Breast Feeding class
- In Process - Read Nursing Mother's Companion
- Go to "Caring for a Newborn" class
- DONE! - Do kick counts per doctor's request (Doctor excused me from continuing since my kid is off the charts!)
- Watch video - Happiest Baby on the Block
- DONE! - Watch video from my doula - What Babies Want
- Second meeting with doula
- Third meeting with doula
- Get my hair done
- Get a pedicure (I still can't see my toes and I have ingrowns)
- Do KEGELS
- Send thank you cards for gifts from shower
- Pre-order birth announcements
- Address envelopes for birth announcements (they pre-send them with order)
- Buy nursing bras
- Buy menstrual pads
- Go on pediatric department tour
- Pre-register with the hospital
- Ongoing! - Make love with my husband
- Ongoing! - Sleep as much as possible
- Increase life insurance policy for my husband and myself
- Designate a guardian for baby in case something happens to us both
- In Process - Socialize with my girlfriends one-on-one (I've seen: Candy, Liz, Andrea, talked with my sister, Heather, & Courntey)
- In Process - Finish covering the dining room chairs (we've done 2 of 3)
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Who are You?
Hit forward and place an X by all the things you've done and
remove the X From the ones you have not. Answer the 30
questions at the end and send it to your friends (including
me). This is for your entire life!
(x) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school
(x) Watched someone die
(x) Been to Canada
(x) Been to Mexico
( ) Been to Florida
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Been lost
(x) Been on the opposite side of the country
( ) Gone to Washington , DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
( ) Played cops and robbers
( ) Recently colored with crayons
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with coins only
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't ...hahahha!
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain....well, played in the rain
( ) Written a letter to Santa
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
(x) Been skinny dipping outdoors
(x) Gone to the movies
1. Any nickname? Maddie, Maddy, many others...
2. Mother's name: Judith
3. Favorite drink? Pregnant = limeaid, Normally = mojito
5. Body Piercings? Ear lobes, left ear cuff, belly button
6. How much do you love your job? Bookkeeping? Are you kidding?
7. Birthplace? Long Beach, CA
8. Favorite vacation spot? Crete
9. Ever been to Africa? Nope
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Not that I can remember
11. Ever been on TV? Yes, a couple of times. Once with Jamba Juice serving smoothies to Oprah's audience. The daily spots showed me looking like a smoothie-wench. Second time was on an info-mercial for skin care with Kathy Lee Gifford.
12. Ever steal any traffic signs? I was an accomplice. I never kept one.
13. Ever been in a car accident? Yes, more than one. I wasn't generally driving in them though.
14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? 4
15. Favorite salad dressing? It depends on the salad. I like to make my own...
16. Favorite pie? Lemon merigne (I've been craving it for months. Dustin's planning on making one for me - such a good guy!)
17. Favorite number? 9
18. Favorite movie? The Ghost & Mr. Chicken
19. Favorite holiday? All of them now that I'll have a little boy to share them with.
20. Favorite dessert? GOOD pie - not Safeway pie - GOOD pie. Cherry, apple, strawberry rhubarb, blueberry, peach...make it into a pie and I'll love it.
21. Favorite food? I'm pregnant! It depends on the day.
22. Favorite day of the week? Sunday
23. Favorite brand of body wash? I like hand-milled soaps in yummy scents.
24. Favorite toothpaste? Anti-plaque Crest...especially when used with our electric toothbrush. CLEAN!
25. Favorite smell? Cinnamon
26. What do you do to relax? Photograph flowers.
27. How do you see yourself in 10 years? Good question. I'd like to be a home owner. It's hard to imagine 10 years from now. My baby is going to be born in 2 months. I can't imagine the world without imagining him in it, but I haven't met him yet, so I'm at a loss with this question.
28. Furthest place you will send this message? So. Cal. unless someone is traveling and I don't know it.
Hit forward and place an X by all the things you've done and
remove the X From the ones you have not. Answer the 30
questions at the end and send it to your friends (including
me). This is for your entire life!
(x) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school
(x) Watched someone die
(x) Been to Canada
(x) Been to Mexico
( ) Been to Florida
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Been lost
(x) Been on the opposite side of the country
( ) Gone to Washington , DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
( ) Played cops and robbers
( ) Recently colored with crayons
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with coins only
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't ...hahahha!
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain....well, played in the rain
( ) Written a letter to Santa
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
(x) Been skinny dipping outdoors
(x) Gone to the movies
1. Any nickname? Maddie, Maddy, many others...
2. Mother's name: Judith
3. Favorite drink? Pregnant = limeaid, Normally = mojito
5. Body Piercings? Ear lobes, left ear cuff, belly button
6. How much do you love your job? Bookkeeping? Are you kidding?
7. Birthplace? Long Beach, CA
8. Favorite vacation spot? Crete
9. Ever been to Africa? Nope
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Not that I can remember
11. Ever been on TV? Yes, a couple of times. Once with Jamba Juice serving smoothies to Oprah's audience. The daily spots showed me looking like a smoothie-wench. Second time was on an info-mercial for skin care with Kathy Lee Gifford.
12. Ever steal any traffic signs? I was an accomplice. I never kept one.
13. Ever been in a car accident? Yes, more than one. I wasn't generally driving in them though.
14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? 4
15. Favorite salad dressing? It depends on the salad. I like to make my own...
16. Favorite pie? Lemon merigne (I've been craving it for months. Dustin's planning on making one for me - such a good guy!)
17. Favorite number? 9
18. Favorite movie? The Ghost & Mr. Chicken
19. Favorite holiday? All of them now that I'll have a little boy to share them with.
20. Favorite dessert? GOOD pie - not Safeway pie - GOOD pie. Cherry, apple, strawberry rhubarb, blueberry, peach...make it into a pie and I'll love it.
21. Favorite food? I'm pregnant! It depends on the day.
22. Favorite day of the week? Sunday
23. Favorite brand of body wash? I like hand-milled soaps in yummy scents.
24. Favorite toothpaste? Anti-plaque Crest...especially when used with our electric toothbrush. CLEAN!
25. Favorite smell? Cinnamon
26. What do you do to relax? Photograph flowers.
27. How do you see yourself in 10 years? Good question. I'd like to be a home owner. It's hard to imagine 10 years from now. My baby is going to be born in 2 months. I can't imagine the world without imagining him in it, but I haven't met him yet, so I'm at a loss with this question.
28. Furthest place you will send this message? So. Cal. unless someone is traveling and I don't know it.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
In case there is any doubt, I am the author of the following Craigslist post. See the response from someone below.
BART Rider
Reply to: pers-645287829@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-04-16, 8:23PM PDT
If you ride BART, please be mindful of those in need of a seat. I am nearly 8 months pregnant, and on my train home several people averted their eyes instead of offering me a seat. These were able-bodied people, not elderly or disabled folks. In fact, even when seats became available, people quickly nabbed them instead of offering them to the lady with a visible baby bump.
I was a little surprised that no one offered their seat. But I was even more aghast that no one on the train asked those seated to do the right thing. All it takes is one courteous person to make a significant difference to someone in need.
Thanks for reading my post.
Response received by email:
Hi,
I am sorry to hear that no one let you sit down on BART today. On a positive note, though, you sound like a wonderful future mother.
Robert
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
REVISED TO DO
I've got 9 weeks and I have a ton on my list too.
I've got 9 weeks and I have a ton on my list too.
- Make arrangements for maternity leave with my clients
- DONE! - Finalize the registry
- Choose music to put on the shower favor music CD
- Go to my shower
- Buy whatever is left after the shower
- DONE! - Find a bigger apartment (we live in a 1 bedroom)
- Pack
- Move
- Unpack
- Nest
- DONE! - Buy car seat
- Install car seat
- In Process - Make a packing list for the hospital
- Wash baby clothes/blankets (NOTE - an experienced mom told me not to wash everything you get. You might not use it all and if the tags are attached you can exchange the clothes for something you'll use.)
- Pack for the hospital
- DONE! - Go to second "Preparing for Child Birth Class"
- Go to Breast Feeding class
- In Process - Read Nursing Mother's Companion
- Go to "Caring for a Newborn" class
- DONE! - Do kick counts per doctor's request (Doctor excused me from continuing since my kid is off the charts!)
- Watch video - Happiest Baby on the Block
- DONE! - Watch video from my doula - What Babies Want
- Second meeting with doula
- Third meeting with doula
- Get my hair done
- Get a pedicure (I can't see my toes and I have ingrowns)
- Do KEGELS
- Send thank you cards for gifts from shower
- Pre-order birth announcements
- Address envelopes for birth announcements (they pre-send them with order)
- Buy nursing bras
- Buy menstrual pads
- Go on pediatric department tour
- Pre-register with the hospital
- Ongoing! - Make love with my husband
- Ongoing! - Sleep as much as possible
- Increase life insurance policy for my husband and myself
- Designate a guardian for baby in case something happens to us both
- Socialize with my girlfriends one-on-one
- Finish covering the dining room chairs (we've done 1 of 3)
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Below is a TO DO list that I was inspired to write by a post on Cafe Mom inquiring what we have left to do before the baby comes. I was started Week 30 yesterday. Tristan could come in the next 2 to 2 1/2 months.
You wrote on Apr. 8, 2008 at 4:01 PM
I've got 10 weeks and I have a ton on my list too.- Make arrangements for maternity leave with my clients
- Finalize the registry
- Choose music to put on the shower favor music CD
- Go to my shower
- Buy whatever is left after the shower
- Find a bigger apartment (we live in a 1 bedroom)
- Pack
- Move
- Unpack
- Nest
- Buy car seat & install
- Make a packing list for the hospital
- Wash baby clothes/blankets (NOTE - an experienced mom told me not to wash everything you get. You might not use it all and if the tags are attached you can exchange the clothes for something you'll use.)
- Pack for the hospital
- Go to second "Preparing for Child Birth Class"
- Go to Breast Feeding class
- Read Nursing Mother's Companion
- Go to "Caring for a Newborn" class
- Do kick counts per doctor's request
- Watch video - Happiest Baby on the Block
- Watch video from my doula - What Babies Want
- Second meeting with doula
- Third meeting with doula
- Get my hair done
- Get a pedicure (I can't see my toes and I have ingrowns)
- Do KEGELS
- Send thank you cards for gifts from shower
- Pre-order birth announcements
- Address envelopes for birth announcements (they pre-send them with order)
- Buy nursing bras
- Buy menstrual pads
- Go on pediatric department tour
- Pre-register with the hospital
- Make love with my husband
- Sleep as much as possible
- Increase life insurance policy for my husband and myself
- Designate a guardian for baby in case something happens to us both
- Socialize with my girlfriends one-on-one
- Finish covering the dining room chairs (we've done 1 of 3)
Monday, April 07, 2008
I wrote this the other day on my way into work.
4/4/8 10:37am
On BART, heading in to San Francisco to work a few hours at K&P. I just secured my ear phones in and started BT's This Binary Universe in an attempt to drown out the voice of a fat, old lawyer advising his client on his cell phone. (I would like to note that he was about 1/2 a car away and was talking in a manner that was almost a yell.) BT's music turns my routine into a movie as I watch the urban metropolis slide by to this soundtrack.
These moments that I walk through are fleeting. I look at my hands and I see the fingers of a strong, young woman adorned with the glitter of my wedding ring. Though I expect to look at my hand 1,000 times and recognize the symbol of our love there, the fact that our vow is so fresh and our love still blossoming into the full comfort of a seasoned marriage makes this time special. Couple that awareness with the feeling of our growing baby kicking from inside my womb makes this short time before everything changes even more sweet.
Even as I write this I am struck by the realization that my wonder will continue as our son is born, he grows to see so many firsts, we finally find and purchase our first home, and we all grow as individuals and into a close-knit, loving family. Truly, this is what I have always wanted, always been a little scared to wish for because it is so far away from my roots.
So imagine yourself here with me, riding a train, dressed up for work, watching the world moving quickly by, but feeling completely suspended in this amazing moment when I can totally feel myself in exactly the life I always wanted as a child. I feel so blessed that I have a little tear in my right eye.
I love you baby. You are the culmination of a dream coming true.
4/4/8 10:37am
On BART, heading in to San Francisco to work a few hours at K&P. I just secured my ear phones in and started BT's This Binary Universe in an attempt to drown out the voice of a fat, old lawyer advising his client on his cell phone. (I would like to note that he was about 1/2 a car away and was talking in a manner that was almost a yell.) BT's music turns my routine into a movie as I watch the urban metropolis slide by to this soundtrack.
These moments that I walk through are fleeting. I look at my hands and I see the fingers of a strong, young woman adorned with the glitter of my wedding ring. Though I expect to look at my hand 1,000 times and recognize the symbol of our love there, the fact that our vow is so fresh and our love still blossoming into the full comfort of a seasoned marriage makes this time special. Couple that awareness with the feeling of our growing baby kicking from inside my womb makes this short time before everything changes even more sweet.
Even as I write this I am struck by the realization that my wonder will continue as our son is born, he grows to see so many firsts, we finally find and purchase our first home, and we all grow as individuals and into a close-knit, loving family. Truly, this is what I have always wanted, always been a little scared to wish for because it is so far away from my roots.
So imagine yourself here with me, riding a train, dressed up for work, watching the world moving quickly by, but feeling completely suspended in this amazing moment when I can totally feel myself in exactly the life I always wanted as a child. I feel so blessed that I have a little tear in my right eye.
I love you baby. You are the culmination of a dream coming true.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
I haven't written in a long time. I've been growing a baby. I've also moved two offices, looked for a new place to live, worked with our accountant on filing an extension, had a major fallout with two family members, recovered from that, read a lot about baby products and childbirth, engaged a doula, and exercised.
Despite that, I've been thinking of writing for the last few days. And though I feel the need to log off and get to bed, I decided that now's the time to make an entry. If I'm going to get into the habit, I need to start.
I have recently joined a website called CafeMom. This is basically a posting forum for mothers of all description to network. I have signed on to several groups: Breastfeeding Moms; Cloth Diapering; Deals & Steals; Due in June 2008; First Time Mamas; Organic, Natural, & Simple Living; Pregnancy; Pregnancy Knowledge; and my most recent addition, Love Your Husband!
After being accepted into the 'Love Your Husband!' group I posted to the first string I saw. This is my Top 10 Reasons I Love My Husband list.
Apr. 5, 2008 at 10:38 PM
1. He's caring. When I just had a major acid reflux attack (week 29) he walked into the bathroom and rubbed my back as I heaved.
2. He's domestic. He washes the laundry while I'm at work. He cooks dinner. He takes out the trash. He vacuums. He cleans the bathroom. He makes the bed. I never have to ask him to do these things. He just does them.
3. He's disciplined. He is physically active every day. He goes to a trainer 2x a week. But he also rides his bike, runs, lifts weights, does sit ups, & yoga at home. All because he's made a schedule for himself and he keeps to it.
4. He's an entrepreneur. He is a working freelance writer who really hustles to make ends meet. His success is really inspiring to me.
5. He's supportive of me. If I have to work late, he picks me up and makes dinner. When I talk about changing jobs, he encourages me to do what I love. He's gone to every prenatal visit. And he totally participated in our "Preparing for Childbirth Class" today.
6. He loves his family. Crazy though they are, he is close with them.
7. He's funny. I don't always laugh at his jokes, but he's cracking them anyway. Right now he's singing a song, "I am the task completer. If you are a task, I'll complete you. Do-do-do-do...."
8. He's healthy. We both are. I thought I ate well before we were together. I've gotten even more into fruits & veggies since he's been around.
9. He's stylish. He has a personal style all his own & it's sexy as hell.
10. He's a nerd. He reads sci-fi and plays video games and dreams of making robots. Without these things, he wouldn't be him.
Despite that, I've been thinking of writing for the last few days. And though I feel the need to log off and get to bed, I decided that now's the time to make an entry. If I'm going to get into the habit, I need to start.
I have recently joined a website called CafeMom. This is basically a posting forum for mothers of all description to network. I have signed on to several groups: Breastfeeding Moms; Cloth Diapering; Deals & Steals; Due in June 2008; First Time Mamas; Organic, Natural, & Simple Living; Pregnancy; Pregnancy Knowledge; and my most recent addition, Love Your Husband!
After being accepted into the 'Love Your Husband!' group I posted to the first string I saw. This is my Top 10 Reasons I Love My Husband list.
Apr. 5, 2008 at 10:38 PM
1. He's caring. When I just had a major acid reflux attack (week 29) he walked into the bathroom and rubbed my back as I heaved.
2. He's domestic. He washes the laundry while I'm at work. He cooks dinner. He takes out the trash. He vacuums. He cleans the bathroom. He makes the bed. I never have to ask him to do these things. He just does them.
3. He's disciplined. He is physically active every day. He goes to a trainer 2x a week. But he also rides his bike, runs, lifts weights, does sit ups, & yoga at home. All because he's made a schedule for himself and he keeps to it.
4. He's an entrepreneur. He is a working freelance writer who really hustles to make ends meet. His success is really inspiring to me.
5. He's supportive of me. If I have to work late, he picks me up and makes dinner. When I talk about changing jobs, he encourages me to do what I love. He's gone to every prenatal visit. And he totally participated in our "Preparing for Childbirth Class" today.
6. He loves his family. Crazy though they are, he is close with them.
7. He's funny. I don't always laugh at his jokes, but he's cracking them anyway. Right now he's singing a song, "I am the task completer. If you are a task, I'll complete you. Do-do-do-do...."
8. He's healthy. We both are. I thought I ate well before we were together. I've gotten even more into fruits & veggies since he's been around.
9. He's stylish. He has a personal style all his own & it's sexy as hell.
10. He's a nerd. He reads sci-fi and plays video games and dreams of making robots. Without these things, he wouldn't be him.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
I'm Going to be on the Radio!
The CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Channel) offers "The Choice" each week. This is a by request replay of previously aired shows. After listening to this week's podcast, "While You Were Out" I HAD to hear the second part of the two part series. It is a documentary discussing sleep. The host interviews specialists in the field of sleep research like clinicians, but also includes a sleep historian and an anthropologist who is traveling the globe to discover the differences in how cultures have different norms in sleeping patterns.
I think the most interesting part that resonated with me on a personal level was the fact that different people have different schedules in their internal time clocks. These patterns explain why some people rise and shine early in the morning, get to work early, and go to sleep shortly after dinner while other people stay up into the wee-hours of the morning, dragging into work or school and only get really "into" their work as the first group are winding down and trotting home. They call these two types the larks (early) and the owls (late). The larks have shorter circadian rhythms than the 24 hours that we call one day and owls internal clocks mark a day at more than 24 hours. These differences in personal rhythm is partly inherited. If you are born to 2 night owls, you are likely to have a predisposition to being an owl yourself.
So, I jumped on the computer and requested the second part of the series. The Associate Producer has already sent me a script which I can personalize prior to recording my intro for their next podcast.
I'm very excited, mostly because I am seeing an almost immediate, positive response to my request. I haven't been feeling very powerful or dynamic lately. This could be the jump start that I need to start making things happen in the way I used to. A couple of years ago, before I met my loving husband, I was a go-getter. People would comment on the fact that every time we would get together, I'd have something new and different to report about projects I was working on or connections I was following to produce a result.
I want my child to grow up observing *that* side of me. I've become complacent in my happiness. I'd rather be happy AND striving than just sitting enjoying the view.
The CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Channel) offers "The Choice" each week. This is a by request replay of previously aired shows. After listening to this week's podcast, "While You Were Out" I HAD to hear the second part of the two part series. It is a documentary discussing sleep. The host interviews specialists in the field of sleep research like clinicians, but also includes a sleep historian and an anthropologist who is traveling the globe to discover the differences in how cultures have different norms in sleeping patterns.
I think the most interesting part that resonated with me on a personal level was the fact that different people have different schedules in their internal time clocks. These patterns explain why some people rise and shine early in the morning, get to work early, and go to sleep shortly after dinner while other people stay up into the wee-hours of the morning, dragging into work or school and only get really "into" their work as the first group are winding down and trotting home. They call these two types the larks (early) and the owls (late). The larks have shorter circadian rhythms than the 24 hours that we call one day and owls internal clocks mark a day at more than 24 hours. These differences in personal rhythm is partly inherited. If you are born to 2 night owls, you are likely to have a predisposition to being an owl yourself.
So, I jumped on the computer and requested the second part of the series. The Associate Producer has already sent me a script which I can personalize prior to recording my intro for their next podcast.
I'm very excited, mostly because I am seeing an almost immediate, positive response to my request. I haven't been feeling very powerful or dynamic lately. This could be the jump start that I need to start making things happen in the way I used to. A couple of years ago, before I met my loving husband, I was a go-getter. People would comment on the fact that every time we would get together, I'd have something new and different to report about projects I was working on or connections I was following to produce a result.
I want my child to grow up observing *that* side of me. I've become complacent in my happiness. I'd rather be happy AND striving than just sitting enjoying the view.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Out With the Old, In With the New
Yesterday I called Kaiser and changed my primary care OB/GYN. Though I liked this woman when I was receiving gyne care from her, I haven't been impressed with her knowledge or bedside manner during my prenatal visits.
My last visit was nearly two weeks ago. After listening to our son's heartbeat with the doppler, she turned her attention to my chart and said, "We expect people to have weight gain after the holidays. But you can't have a jump like this again." She smirked at me, assuming to know that I'd eaten too many cookies and had too much egg nog.
She did not ask me about my diet. She did not inquire about how much juice (or eggnog) I drink thought this is a source of calories that most pregnant women seem to overlook. She didn't ask if we eat out more often than cooking at home. She just assumed to know.
I was MAD. Firstly, I just lost 15 pounds from adhering to my yeast free diet (see earlier posts.) To summarize, this meant no sugar, no alcohol, no simple carbohydrates, no bread with yeast (which is almost all bread), no vinegar, no mustard, no mayonnaise, no mushrooms, no cheese. In fact, I had to limit my fruit intake - because that is also sugar. What do you eat on a diet like that? Whole grains, meat, and vegetables. What happens? You lose weight FAST.
In fact, I am hovering between 5 - 7 pounds above my pre-diet weight now, at Week 19. I would have been all-too-happy to share this fact with her if she hadn't pulled out her lance and aimed it at me. Try and find a topic more sensitive than a woman's weight. I can't believe that a trained medical professional who specializes in this work would take this approach.
Shortly after leaving her office I called my friend, Liz. She is now 8 months pregnant. Pre-pregnancy she was an avid soccer player who danced on the weekends. This woman is not fat, even at 8 months she's solid. She said that she had the same experience at the same point in pregnancy. She gained 13 pounds between Month 3 and Month 4. Then she gained 3 pounds between Month 4 and Month 5. Her OB said that THIS IS NORMAL. If her OB knows that this happens, why doesn't mine?
One more question that my OB could have asked me was, "Are you retaining water?" The answer to that by most pregnant women would be a quick, "YES." In fact, I lost 3 pounds in 2 days after that appointment. Could that be fat or muscle? No; that was water.
The odd thing is, I'm not overweight AT ALL. My friends say that I look like myself with a bigger mid-section. My legs still fit into my pants (thought I can't wear them because of the waistline.) And my face is still the same shape, not rounded. When I gain weight, it goes to my face first. My arms are thin. You can see my ribs, though I'm not gaunt. In a word, I'm healthy.
I told this story to several friends, to get their sympathy. Almost unanimously they told me to find someone else. They didn't like the idea of me putting myself into the hands of someone who was so reluctant to ask questions instead of making assumptions.
I thought back and remembered that I'd seen another OB several months ago when mine was too busy to schedule me in. I really liked that woman. She was young, sharp, and had a fantastic smile when she walked into the room. We had an immediate rapport. I found my spirits lifted by my visit with her, even though I went there with a problem.
Upon research I found that she is accepting new patients, YEAH! What I didn't know is that she is an osteopath (DO.) I like the fact that her focus is on wellness and that she knows about natural cures as well as western medical practices and prescriptions. I'm actually excited to go to my first appointment with her.
I'll check back in once that happens - if not before.
Yesterday I called Kaiser and changed my primary care OB/GYN. Though I liked this woman when I was receiving gyne care from her, I haven't been impressed with her knowledge or bedside manner during my prenatal visits.
My last visit was nearly two weeks ago. After listening to our son's heartbeat with the doppler, she turned her attention to my chart and said, "We expect people to have weight gain after the holidays. But you can't have a jump like this again." She smirked at me, assuming to know that I'd eaten too many cookies and had too much egg nog.
She did not ask me about my diet. She did not inquire about how much juice (or eggnog) I drink thought this is a source of calories that most pregnant women seem to overlook. She didn't ask if we eat out more often than cooking at home. She just assumed to know.
I was MAD. Firstly, I just lost 15 pounds from adhering to my yeast free diet (see earlier posts.) To summarize, this meant no sugar, no alcohol, no simple carbohydrates, no bread with yeast (which is almost all bread), no vinegar, no mustard, no mayonnaise, no mushrooms, no cheese. In fact, I had to limit my fruit intake - because that is also sugar. What do you eat on a diet like that? Whole grains, meat, and vegetables. What happens? You lose weight FAST.
In fact, I am hovering between 5 - 7 pounds above my pre-diet weight now, at Week 19. I would have been all-too-happy to share this fact with her if she hadn't pulled out her lance and aimed it at me. Try and find a topic more sensitive than a woman's weight. I can't believe that a trained medical professional who specializes in this work would take this approach.
Shortly after leaving her office I called my friend, Liz. She is now 8 months pregnant. Pre-pregnancy she was an avid soccer player who danced on the weekends. This woman is not fat, even at 8 months she's solid. She said that she had the same experience at the same point in pregnancy. She gained 13 pounds between Month 3 and Month 4. Then she gained 3 pounds between Month 4 and Month 5. Her OB said that THIS IS NORMAL. If her OB knows that this happens, why doesn't mine?
One more question that my OB could have asked me was, "Are you retaining water?" The answer to that by most pregnant women would be a quick, "YES." In fact, I lost 3 pounds in 2 days after that appointment. Could that be fat or muscle? No; that was water.
The odd thing is, I'm not overweight AT ALL. My friends say that I look like myself with a bigger mid-section. My legs still fit into my pants (thought I can't wear them because of the waistline.) And my face is still the same shape, not rounded. When I gain weight, it goes to my face first. My arms are thin. You can see my ribs, though I'm not gaunt. In a word, I'm healthy.
I told this story to several friends, to get their sympathy. Almost unanimously they told me to find someone else. They didn't like the idea of me putting myself into the hands of someone who was so reluctant to ask questions instead of making assumptions.
I thought back and remembered that I'd seen another OB several months ago when mine was too busy to schedule me in. I really liked that woman. She was young, sharp, and had a fantastic smile when she walked into the room. We had an immediate rapport. I found my spirits lifted by my visit with her, even though I went there with a problem.
Upon research I found that she is accepting new patients, YEAH! What I didn't know is that she is an osteopath (DO.) I like the fact that her focus is on wellness and that she knows about natural cures as well as western medical practices and prescriptions. I'm actually excited to go to my first appointment with her.
I'll check back in once that happens - if not before.
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Family & Friends
Holidays 2007
It's raining here and I'm listening to Herbie Hancock's take on Joni Mitchell's "Both Sides Now." It's a mellow, melancholy piano instrumental with some light bass and a touch of sax. It's a perfect soundtrack to this gray, cold day.
My husband and I returned from our long road trip north on Thursday night. We drove from Berkeley, CA to Bend, OR. This was our first experience driving in snow pack and on ice. We had chains but neither of us had ever put them on before. (One of the benefits of residing in California over a lifetime.) I remembered watching the bus and van drivers laying the chains out and driving onto them as the first step of installation. My husband was reluctant to try that as the [inept] directions said nothing about such methodology. Fortunately, we found a man who I named "ice angel" who installed the chains for us. We were lucky to have found him. Though the highway was well maintained by snow plows, the off ramp and street that D made a wrong turn onto were not. There was ice and snow pack that would have prevented us from making it onto the freeway had we not be equipped with that metal traction.
We made it to Bend safely. It took us about 10 hours. You can't drive more than 35 mph with snow chains, it would have been impossible to cut down our driving time.
I think I need to make a separate entry about Bend. I tend to spew when it comes to discussions about my father. Though I have bridged the gap that saw us in radio silence for 10 years, this trip reminded me that he hasn't changed. There are so many instances of wrong-doing on his part, the pain in me runs deep and my anger is close to the surface when I think or talk about it. One of the main reasons I didn't speak to him for so long was that I considered it an act of self preservation. It was easier for me to live a peaceful existence and love myself and recognize the beauty in life when he wasn't even a peripheral part of it. I know that our trip north made both my father and my step-mom very happy. We brought the spirit of Christmas with us. We got a beautiful tree, we made Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner, we brought homemade Christmas cookies and gifts. But this will be the last time we spend the holidays with them. It was a depressing experience for both my husband and me. My father's flippant remarks and incessant demands took the joy out of the things we did. And once we'd finished decorating the tree, making dinner and cleaning up, and opening presents, we had nothing to do there. My parents went to bed most of the day and early each night and my husband and I sat around on our computers (without internet access - ugh) playing video games for lack of anything else to do. I did read as well, but I didn't want to devour my book too quickly. I'd forgotten my journal and didn't savor the prospect of having nothing to read as well as no place to document my feelings and thoughts.
We stayed in Bend, sleeping each night in an uncomfortably short bed in a room that smelled of smoke, mold, and dogs. After four nights, it was time to depart. We packed up our things (which now also smelled like smoke, mold, and dogs!) and made the drive from Bend to Portland, OR. In case you aren't familiar with Oregon's geography, this requires climbing Mt. Hood. Unfortunately for us, it started to snow in Bend just as we were finished packing the car. This translated to snow flurries on the mountain. Fortunately, by this time, we were experienced installing chains and the process went much more smoothly, even in the dark. We pulled into a gas station, the only thing for miles. The snow was piled a foot deep everywhere except under the awning. There was a truck parked out front that was almost unidentifiable for the thick white cover that obscured its shape. We went inside to use the facilities and grab some hot cocoa, and on we went. The Edgefield was the light at the end of our tunnel. When we arrived at the hotel, we were assigned to a large, corner room with a king-sized bed. We dropped our things and went for dinner. (By this time is was 8pm and we were very hungry.) We shared a tasty dinner made from sustainably farmed meats and vegetables and tucked in early for the night.
In an episode of "Hard Core History" discussing The Great Depression, the host makes the assertion that people are imbued with better spirit as a result of having experienced poverty and privation. I share his beliefs. I come from a "hard" childhood and feel stronger for it.
Though we didn't listen to this episode until the final leg of our trip home, I was appreciating the message in that big bed. Having to sleep with my legs curled (my poor husband is even taller than I) for four nights made me appreciative of that spacious bed in a way that I wouldn't have had I come from my own bed. It represented a level of comfort that we had become unaccustomed to and I relished that night's sleep that much more for not having woken up hitting my feet or my head on foot or head board even once in the night.
The ride from Portland to Seattle was beautiful and easy. The landscape is punctuated with gnarly trees crowned with bird's nests, rolling green hills, and cows and horses grazing. It's a very different scene than you see in California, which is mostly golden in the open areas that remain.
I'm sorry to blog a partial entry, but my pregnant belly demands food NOW. Since I don't blog with frequency, I'm concerned that if I don't publish this now, that I may not pick it back up and that this time will have been wasted. So, there you go - Episode 1.
Happy New Year!
M
Holidays 2007
It's raining here and I'm listening to Herbie Hancock's take on Joni Mitchell's "Both Sides Now." It's a mellow, melancholy piano instrumental with some light bass and a touch of sax. It's a perfect soundtrack to this gray, cold day.
My husband and I returned from our long road trip north on Thursday night. We drove from Berkeley, CA to Bend, OR. This was our first experience driving in snow pack and on ice. We had chains but neither of us had ever put them on before. (One of the benefits of residing in California over a lifetime.) I remembered watching the bus and van drivers laying the chains out and driving onto them as the first step of installation. My husband was reluctant to try that as the [inept] directions said nothing about such methodology. Fortunately, we found a man who I named "ice angel" who installed the chains for us. We were lucky to have found him. Though the highway was well maintained by snow plows, the off ramp and street that D made a wrong turn onto were not. There was ice and snow pack that would have prevented us from making it onto the freeway had we not be equipped with that metal traction.
We made it to Bend safely. It took us about 10 hours. You can't drive more than 35 mph with snow chains, it would have been impossible to cut down our driving time.
I think I need to make a separate entry about Bend. I tend to spew when it comes to discussions about my father. Though I have bridged the gap that saw us in radio silence for 10 years, this trip reminded me that he hasn't changed. There are so many instances of wrong-doing on his part, the pain in me runs deep and my anger is close to the surface when I think or talk about it. One of the main reasons I didn't speak to him for so long was that I considered it an act of self preservation. It was easier for me to live a peaceful existence and love myself and recognize the beauty in life when he wasn't even a peripheral part of it. I know that our trip north made both my father and my step-mom very happy. We brought the spirit of Christmas with us. We got a beautiful tree, we made Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner, we brought homemade Christmas cookies and gifts. But this will be the last time we spend the holidays with them. It was a depressing experience for both my husband and me. My father's flippant remarks and incessant demands took the joy out of the things we did. And once we'd finished decorating the tree, making dinner and cleaning up, and opening presents, we had nothing to do there. My parents went to bed most of the day and early each night and my husband and I sat around on our computers (without internet access - ugh) playing video games for lack of anything else to do. I did read as well, but I didn't want to devour my book too quickly. I'd forgotten my journal and didn't savor the prospect of having nothing to read as well as no place to document my feelings and thoughts.
We stayed in Bend, sleeping each night in an uncomfortably short bed in a room that smelled of smoke, mold, and dogs. After four nights, it was time to depart. We packed up our things (which now also smelled like smoke, mold, and dogs!) and made the drive from Bend to Portland, OR. In case you aren't familiar with Oregon's geography, this requires climbing Mt. Hood. Unfortunately for us, it started to snow in Bend just as we were finished packing the car. This translated to snow flurries on the mountain. Fortunately, by this time, we were experienced installing chains and the process went much more smoothly, even in the dark. We pulled into a gas station, the only thing for miles. The snow was piled a foot deep everywhere except under the awning. There was a truck parked out front that was almost unidentifiable for the thick white cover that obscured its shape. We went inside to use the facilities and grab some hot cocoa, and on we went. The Edgefield was the light at the end of our tunnel. When we arrived at the hotel, we were assigned to a large, corner room with a king-sized bed. We dropped our things and went for dinner. (By this time is was 8pm and we were very hungry.) We shared a tasty dinner made from sustainably farmed meats and vegetables and tucked in early for the night.
In an episode of "Hard Core History" discussing The Great Depression, the host makes the assertion that people are imbued with better spirit as a result of having experienced poverty and privation. I share his beliefs. I come from a "hard" childhood and feel stronger for it.
Though we didn't listen to this episode until the final leg of our trip home, I was appreciating the message in that big bed. Having to sleep with my legs curled (my poor husband is even taller than I) for four nights made me appreciative of that spacious bed in a way that I wouldn't have had I come from my own bed. It represented a level of comfort that we had become unaccustomed to and I relished that night's sleep that much more for not having woken up hitting my feet or my head on foot or head board even once in the night.
The ride from Portland to Seattle was beautiful and easy. The landscape is punctuated with gnarly trees crowned with bird's nests, rolling green hills, and cows and horses grazing. It's a very different scene than you see in California, which is mostly golden in the open areas that remain.
I'm sorry to blog a partial entry, but my pregnant belly demands food NOW. Since I don't blog with frequency, I'm concerned that if I don't publish this now, that I may not pick it back up and that this time will have been wasted. So, there you go - Episode 1.
Happy New Year!
M
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
That last post was a bummer. It doesn't speak to the wonder that I feel as I walk through my days. It doesn't really reflect my inner climate of faith and hope for the future. It isn't what I really want to focus on. My way of living is unusual to many. I believe in visions of the future and my ability to make things happen by wishing for them.
My husband is a freelance writer. He interviews high profile creators, singers, producers, animators, film makers, and the like. He talks to them about their latest projects and learns how they use cutting edge technology to make their visions a reality that they share with the general public.
Several months ago when I was feeling less solid in my conviction that I can make things happen and felt more aimless than focused in my career and my life path he said something I will never forget. He said that I am like all the ultra successful people that he talks to every day.
I am not a follower, I am a visionary and a leader.
I am an artist.
I reflect the beauty of the world.
I am at a huge cross roads in life now. I am newly married (3 months on December 23rd). I am pregnant (expecting mid-June 2008.) I am finally taking steps to walk away from the bookkeeping business that I started seven years ago, with the intention of doing it only part time so that I could write, sing, and write music.
I'm at this point where I can't help but ask, "What's next." I know - motherhood. But I know that there is something more in my life calling me forward as well. This may be school. It may a new part-time endeavor that I enjoy more than logging numbers, I'm just not sure.
I don't know how to find the answer to this question. I just know that I will figure it out, or I'll start taking steps in one direction to find out if that is in fact what I want.
WHAT I WANT
My husband is a freelance writer. He interviews high profile creators, singers, producers, animators, film makers, and the like. He talks to them about their latest projects and learns how they use cutting edge technology to make their visions a reality that they share with the general public.
Several months ago when I was feeling less solid in my conviction that I can make things happen and felt more aimless than focused in my career and my life path he said something I will never forget. He said that I am like all the ultra successful people that he talks to every day.
I am not a follower, I am a visionary and a leader.
I am an artist.
I reflect the beauty of the world.
I am at a huge cross roads in life now. I am newly married (3 months on December 23rd). I am pregnant (expecting mid-June 2008.) I am finally taking steps to walk away from the bookkeeping business that I started seven years ago, with the intention of doing it only part time so that I could write, sing, and write music.
I'm at this point where I can't help but ask, "What's next." I know - motherhood. But I know that there is something more in my life calling me forward as well. This may be school. It may a new part-time endeavor that I enjoy more than logging numbers, I'm just not sure.
I don't know how to find the answer to this question. I just know that I will figure it out, or I'll start taking steps in one direction to find out if that is in fact what I want.
WHAT I WANT
- I want to help people.
- I want to propagate beauty in the world.
- I want work to be an act of love.
- I want to nurture goodness in the world.
- I want to learn.
- I want to grow.
- I want to travel.
- I want to explore.
- I want to laugh.
- I want to share.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
The Good, the Bad & the Ugly
It's almost the end of the year. For many people this means the celebration of holidays: either the spirit of Christmas or observance of the high holy days, Hanukkah. Retailers and charities both hope that people are feeling generous this year. Children are making popcorn strings and gingerbread houses. Martha Stewart is baking cookies to give to people in elaborate packaging.
For a bookkeeper, the end of the year means exactly that: the end of the fiscal year. People are starting to think about taxes. Sole proprietors are asking what they made and what their deductions are so that they can inform tax advisors and allocate enough to their IRAs.
I haven't bought a Christmas gift or lit a candle, but I'm in the spirit - the spirit of taxes.
Today D began asking questions about our tax situation. Being the resident expert, research is my job. I spend most of my time regarding finance working to save people money by allocating expenditures in adventageous ways. I rarely look at tax tables. It's depressing.
If you are in the middle class, defined here as "Married Filing Jointly, with a combined taxable income of $63,700 to $128, 500 in 2007," you will be paying the Fed's $8,772.50 plus 25% of the amount over $63,700. To simplify: if you have two people earning $100K total, they would pay $15,172.50 in federal taxes (after the personal deduction of $10,700.) When I write it in terms of percentages, 15% doesn't seem like *that* much.
I realize that to someone outside California, $100K could sound like a lot of money. In this area, you can't even think of owning a home making that much or more. Condo's are nearly half a million dollars...and that's in Oakland, not San Francisco. Rentals are expensive, even prohibitive as well.
As this baby grows in my belly, we talk about the future and we both want to start building equity by paying a mortgage instead of rent. But even with a large down payment that would clear out D's inheritance and our savings, we'd be paying almost $1,000 more a month to own a small, modest home in a middle-class neighborhood. I say that, and our rent isn't cheap. We could pay a mortgage almost anywhere else in the country for what we pay each month for one bedroom w/o a dishwasher, garbage disposal, laundry, or parking.
So why don't you move? That's a logical question. We talk about it. But we both have family here. And though our drive to own is strong, we feel that it's important for our child to know its family (crazy though they may be.) We are considering a move to Seattle. But we're both complaining about the cold here now. It's been 53F during the day and 33F at night. In Seattle the high is 41F with the same low. We are going to go check it out and see how we do. There are good friends that compel us to consider it more seriously than we might otherwise, but the family consistently pulls our conversation back.
Is it realistic to believe that with a new president that the middle class might be able to start bridging the divide that continues to widen between us and the upper class? How is a new family supposed to buy a house, save for college, save for retirement, eat healthy food, have money for their kids extra-circular activities like sports or music lessons, pay for medical insurance, pay taxes AND have money in the bank? How is a family where one parent loses a job supposed to cope with that loss? These days, one income can be devastating to a family.
All I can do is hope. I'm still hoping that Al Gore will reconsider and lead the way to a bold new future.
It's almost the end of the year. For many people this means the celebration of holidays: either the spirit of Christmas or observance of the high holy days, Hanukkah. Retailers and charities both hope that people are feeling generous this year. Children are making popcorn strings and gingerbread houses. Martha Stewart is baking cookies to give to people in elaborate packaging.
For a bookkeeper, the end of the year means exactly that: the end of the fiscal year. People are starting to think about taxes. Sole proprietors are asking what they made and what their deductions are so that they can inform tax advisors and allocate enough to their IRAs.
I haven't bought a Christmas gift or lit a candle, but I'm in the spirit - the spirit of taxes.
Today D began asking questions about our tax situation. Being the resident expert, research is my job. I spend most of my time regarding finance working to save people money by allocating expenditures in adventageous ways. I rarely look at tax tables. It's depressing.
If you are in the middle class, defined here as "Married Filing Jointly, with a combined taxable income of $63,700 to $128, 500 in 2007," you will be paying the Fed's $8,772.50 plus 25% of the amount over $63,700. To simplify: if you have two people earning $100K total, they would pay $15,172.50 in federal taxes (after the personal deduction of $10,700.) When I write it in terms of percentages, 15% doesn't seem like *that* much.
I realize that to someone outside California, $100K could sound like a lot of money. In this area, you can't even think of owning a home making that much or more. Condo's are nearly half a million dollars...and that's in Oakland, not San Francisco. Rentals are expensive, even prohibitive as well.
As this baby grows in my belly, we talk about the future and we both want to start building equity by paying a mortgage instead of rent. But even with a large down payment that would clear out D's inheritance and our savings, we'd be paying almost $1,000 more a month to own a small, modest home in a middle-class neighborhood. I say that, and our rent isn't cheap. We could pay a mortgage almost anywhere else in the country for what we pay each month for one bedroom w/o a dishwasher, garbage disposal, laundry, or parking.
So why don't you move? That's a logical question. We talk about it. But we both have family here. And though our drive to own is strong, we feel that it's important for our child to know its family (crazy though they may be.) We are considering a move to Seattle. But we're both complaining about the cold here now. It's been 53F during the day and 33F at night. In Seattle the high is 41F with the same low. We are going to go check it out and see how we do. There are good friends that compel us to consider it more seriously than we might otherwise, but the family consistently pulls our conversation back.
Is it realistic to believe that with a new president that the middle class might be able to start bridging the divide that continues to widen between us and the upper class? How is a new family supposed to buy a house, save for college, save for retirement, eat healthy food, have money for their kids extra-circular activities like sports or music lessons, pay for medical insurance, pay taxes AND have money in the bank? How is a family where one parent loses a job supposed to cope with that loss? These days, one income can be devastating to a family.
All I can do is hope. I'm still hoping that Al Gore will reconsider and lead the way to a bold new future.
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Mort AKA Octogenarian, I have updated my blog to make it easier for you to read. I am honored to have you reading and appreciate your comments.
I am wondering if I need two separate blogs at this point. When I began this process, I didn't have a vision for what I was to create here. Now I realize that I have a duel purpose: to document my life as it happens, much in the way that I used to write in my journal and to air my views on current affairs and our political landscape.
I really only have two readers at this point (Thanks for reading Mort. You doubled my readership!) So I don't know if I have the need to write two blogs. Any suggestions? You are both much more experienced in this forum than I.
That said, I will start with the personal and move on from there.
Yesterday, Friday, D and I listened to our baby's heartbeat for the first time. As you can imagine, that was an awesome sound. I can't really explain the feeling of wonder, awe and amazement that papoose's beat-box rhythm inspired in me. It's visceral and as such, hard to pin down and discuss. Let's just go back to my initial description - awesome.
The nurse practitioner warned us as she approached me with the Doppler that we might not be able to hear anything yet. She said I'm in Week 12 as of December 1. So, it was the last day of Week 11 when she was listening. She said that they usually can't hear anything that early.
I'm confused by that as all the literature I read on the subject says that hearing a heartbeat is unlikely in Weeks 9 & 10 but by Week 11 you should have audible confirmation and by Week 12 it is a standard appointment practice to hear the baby's heart.
When she heard the sound she said she was surprised and impressed with the fact that we could hear it. After listening for a minute or so she went on to say that the heartbeat was very strong and that our baby is very healthy.
She seemed authentic in her conviction but the facts don't line up. So I'm left wondering if Kaiser's equipment is sub-standard or if, as D suggested, she was just trying to make us feel good about our baby's progress and health. I suppose it's possible that she's right, in a practical setting that they often don't hear hearts that early. Or maybe the average woman has a larger layer of fat around her belly pre-pregnancy than I did or do. Regardless, I am taking her comments in conjunction with a similar statement from my acupuncturist and am confident that our baby is the epitome of health.
I've been talking to D about reading to the belly. If he reads aloud he wants to go through Harry Potter or Shel Silverstein poetry - something "fun." I've got something more meaty in mind, like the encyclopedia.
When I was in grade school I remember watching a television program with my mom about a family of genius kids. The parents were of average intelligence, maybe slightly above average, but neither was a genius. However, each of their children were prodigies. One was graduating from an Ivy League school (maybe Harvard) when most kids would be graduating from middle school. When the scientists who were reporting on this phenomena gathered the facts, they theorized that this hyper-intelligence related to the parents reading aloud to the fetus in utero.
Ever since then, I've had it in my mind that I would read to my baby before it was born. Though I couldn't begin to theorize why an infant with a brand new brain and no language skills would be able to learn from the parents reading factual information as opposed to just talking to each other about day-to-day life, it wouldn't shock me to learn that reading helps them build the neural net and offers them an advantage when they do start attaching factual strings of information together.
Anyhow, what could it hurt? I certainly wouldn't mind learning what's in the pages of my encyclopedia. Of course, my brain is the opposite of the baby's brain right now. I can't retain much information at all. In fact, I'm acting like an air-head more often than not.
For example, I drove to the doctor's appointment yesterday. D got out of the car and purchased the parking ticket, placed it on the dashboard and locked the car.
Two hours later as we made a left turn out of the parking lot we heard an odd sound. He, smartly, suggested we go back to see what it was. I got out of the car and began to examine the pavement around where we made the turn in question. D looked on the roof. In one hand he held my cell phone, which is wrapped in a silicon non-slip sleeve. In the other hand he had my keys (the noise-making culprit.)
Retracing my steps I realize that when I got out of the car I opened the back door, put on my coat and put the two of my most important personal items on the roof and then promptly walked away. Duh. I need to get a compartmentalized handbag so that it is evident when things go missing. The cavernous purse I tote now is like a magical bag where things disappear even after I've just had them.
I could say that this is an isolated incident and fool myself (and you) into believing that my mistake was caused by an urgency to get to my doctor's appointment on time. But I have evidence that I am suffering, "Baby Brain." On Thursday I went to a taco shop for lunch. I ordered and paid for my burrito. When they called my number I got up and approached the counter. Somehow I walked out the door without my lunch! I got two steps out and realized that I had everything except what I went in for. So, I have to admit it. The rumors are true. Pregnant women get ditzy.
Having ranted about this I think I'll put off writing about current affairs until tomorrow. I do have something in mind, so I will return to post promptly. In the meantime, enjoy the crispness of the season.
I am wondering if I need two separate blogs at this point. When I began this process, I didn't have a vision for what I was to create here. Now I realize that I have a duel purpose: to document my life as it happens, much in the way that I used to write in my journal and to air my views on current affairs and our political landscape.
I really only have two readers at this point (Thanks for reading Mort. You doubled my readership!) So I don't know if I have the need to write two blogs. Any suggestions? You are both much more experienced in this forum than I.
That said, I will start with the personal and move on from there.
Yesterday, Friday, D and I listened to our baby's heartbeat for the first time. As you can imagine, that was an awesome sound. I can't really explain the feeling of wonder, awe and amazement that papoose's beat-box rhythm inspired in me. It's visceral and as such, hard to pin down and discuss. Let's just go back to my initial description - awesome.
The nurse practitioner warned us as she approached me with the Doppler that we might not be able to hear anything yet. She said I'm in Week 12 as of December 1. So, it was the last day of Week 11 when she was listening. She said that they usually can't hear anything that early.
I'm confused by that as all the literature I read on the subject says that hearing a heartbeat is unlikely in Weeks 9 & 10 but by Week 11 you should have audible confirmation and by Week 12 it is a standard appointment practice to hear the baby's heart.
When she heard the sound she said she was surprised and impressed with the fact that we could hear it. After listening for a minute or so she went on to say that the heartbeat was very strong and that our baby is very healthy.
She seemed authentic in her conviction but the facts don't line up. So I'm left wondering if Kaiser's equipment is sub-standard or if, as D suggested, she was just trying to make us feel good about our baby's progress and health. I suppose it's possible that she's right, in a practical setting that they often don't hear hearts that early. Or maybe the average woman has a larger layer of fat around her belly pre-pregnancy than I did or do. Regardless, I am taking her comments in conjunction with a similar statement from my acupuncturist and am confident that our baby is the epitome of health.
I've been talking to D about reading to the belly. If he reads aloud he wants to go through Harry Potter or Shel Silverstein poetry - something "fun." I've got something more meaty in mind, like the encyclopedia.
When I was in grade school I remember watching a television program with my mom about a family of genius kids. The parents were of average intelligence, maybe slightly above average, but neither was a genius. However, each of their children were prodigies. One was graduating from an Ivy League school (maybe Harvard) when most kids would be graduating from middle school. When the scientists who were reporting on this phenomena gathered the facts, they theorized that this hyper-intelligence related to the parents reading aloud to the fetus in utero.
Ever since then, I've had it in my mind that I would read to my baby before it was born. Though I couldn't begin to theorize why an infant with a brand new brain and no language skills would be able to learn from the parents reading factual information as opposed to just talking to each other about day-to-day life, it wouldn't shock me to learn that reading helps them build the neural net and offers them an advantage when they do start attaching factual strings of information together.
Anyhow, what could it hurt? I certainly wouldn't mind learning what's in the pages of my encyclopedia. Of course, my brain is the opposite of the baby's brain right now. I can't retain much information at all. In fact, I'm acting like an air-head more often than not.
For example, I drove to the doctor's appointment yesterday. D got out of the car and purchased the parking ticket, placed it on the dashboard and locked the car.
Two hours later as we made a left turn out of the parking lot we heard an odd sound. He, smartly, suggested we go back to see what it was. I got out of the car and began to examine the pavement around where we made the turn in question. D looked on the roof. In one hand he held my cell phone, which is wrapped in a silicon non-slip sleeve. In the other hand he had my keys (the noise-making culprit.)
Retracing my steps I realize that when I got out of the car I opened the back door, put on my coat and put the two of my most important personal items on the roof and then promptly walked away. Duh. I need to get a compartmentalized handbag so that it is evident when things go missing. The cavernous purse I tote now is like a magical bag where things disappear even after I've just had them.
I could say that this is an isolated incident and fool myself (and you) into believing that my mistake was caused by an urgency to get to my doctor's appointment on time. But I have evidence that I am suffering, "Baby Brain." On Thursday I went to a taco shop for lunch. I ordered and paid for my burrito. When they called my number I got up and approached the counter. Somehow I walked out the door without my lunch! I got two steps out and realized that I had everything except what I went in for. So, I have to admit it. The rumors are true. Pregnant women get ditzy.
Having ranted about this I think I'll put off writing about current affairs until tomorrow. I do have something in mind, so I will return to post promptly. In the meantime, enjoy the crispness of the season.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Global Warming Commentary
As D and I drove home from Fairfield this evening we listened to "Quirks & Quarks" a podcast offered by CBC Radio. The show is a weekly news program dedicated to the latest discoveries in science, technology, medicine and the environment. The host interviews experts to discuss the findings in layman's terms.
Tonight we were listening to the podcast dated October 27, 2007. There was a segment on CO2 acceleration. The scientist interviewed sits on the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. He discussed the severity of global warming, which is worse than any prediction models used in 2000. He isolated several reasons why global warming is worse. The most interesting to me was that in the global economy we are using more carbon per dollar earned than ever before. Prior to 2000, we had been on a downward trend where each dollar earned was using less carbon than prior years. The correlation to the start of George W. Bush in office seems clear. It has been obvious for years, as he undermined the Kyoto Protocol, and worked to open up previously protected land to logging and oil rigs, that he is a consumer and not a conservationist. I stopped to wonder at the quatifiable evidence that has surfaced to illustrate the damage done while he has been President.
Today the American Nobel Prize winners went to the White House to be photographed with the President, as is the custom every year. Of course, Al Gore won a Nobel Peace Prize for his work on climate change, so he was in attendance. It was the first time that these men have met since Bush stole the office from Gore. Mr. Gore sat in the Oval Office, behind closed doors for 40 minutes with Bush today. They report to have talked about climate change through the entire duration. I can't even imagine what was said. I hope that Mr. Gore felt somehow triumphant through the course of their conversation.
Please Al Gore! PLEASE RUN AGAIN! We desperately need an environmentalist diplomat with a global perspective who is seasoned with good experience to lead this country. The debates show that we do not have a strong candidate who possesses these skills. Hillary is a politician cut from the same school as the conservatives who run the country now. We do not need a career politician next term. We need a visionary. PLEASE RECONSIDER. WE NEED YOU.
As D and I drove home from Fairfield this evening we listened to "Quirks & Quarks" a podcast offered by CBC Radio. The show is a weekly news program dedicated to the latest discoveries in science, technology, medicine and the environment. The host interviews experts to discuss the findings in layman's terms.
Tonight we were listening to the podcast dated October 27, 2007. There was a segment on CO2 acceleration. The scientist interviewed sits on the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. He discussed the severity of global warming, which is worse than any prediction models used in 2000. He isolated several reasons why global warming is worse. The most interesting to me was that in the global economy we are using more carbon per dollar earned than ever before. Prior to 2000, we had been on a downward trend where each dollar earned was using less carbon than prior years. The correlation to the start of George W. Bush in office seems clear. It has been obvious for years, as he undermined the Kyoto Protocol, and worked to open up previously protected land to logging and oil rigs, that he is a consumer and not a conservationist. I stopped to wonder at the quatifiable evidence that has surfaced to illustrate the damage done while he has been President.
Today the American Nobel Prize winners went to the White House to be photographed with the President, as is the custom every year. Of course, Al Gore won a Nobel Peace Prize for his work on climate change, so he was in attendance. It was the first time that these men have met since Bush stole the office from Gore. Mr. Gore sat in the Oval Office, behind closed doors for 40 minutes with Bush today. They report to have talked about climate change through the entire duration. I can't even imagine what was said. I hope that Mr. Gore felt somehow triumphant through the course of their conversation.
Please Al Gore! PLEASE RUN AGAIN! We desperately need an environmentalist diplomat with a global perspective who is seasoned with good experience to lead this country. The debates show that we do not have a strong candidate who possesses these skills. Hillary is a politician cut from the same school as the conservatives who run the country now. We do not need a career politician next term. We need a visionary. PLEASE RECONSIDER. WE NEED YOU.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
I am grateful to have an abundance of diverse foods to eat whenever I am hungry. We are blessed to have food in the refrigerator, the freezer, the pantry. And in moments where we "don't feel like cooking" we have bountiful choices for restaurants with cuisine from virtually everywhere on the globe. We are gifted to have so many choices. We eat what we feel like when we feel like it.
Conversely, there are 854 million hungry people in the world. Almost 16,000 children die of hunger-related causes every day; that's about one child dying every five seconds. There is a tendency to imagine that all of these people are in third world countries, but even in the U.S. one in ten households aren't able to satiate their basic needs. 11.7 million American children live in families that skip meals or eat less than necessary, because they aren't able to put more food on the table.
I am grateful for many things in life, but I am humbled every day when I remember southeast Asia. My trip to Laos taught me what poverty truly is. I keep that in mind when I think, "I have nothing to make for dinner." They would see a heavenly storehouse of food that could feed a family of four for several weeks. Since I made this paradigm shift, I've been able to appreciate my own creativity while eating what I've got on hand. (Like garbanzo beans or cans of indian food.)
The next time you eat, whatever you eat, be mindful and give thanks. Eating should be a right, but for many it is a privilege.
Conversely, there are 854 million hungry people in the world. Almost 16,000 children die of hunger-related causes every day; that's about one child dying every five seconds. There is a tendency to imagine that all of these people are in third world countries, but even in the U.S. one in ten households aren't able to satiate their basic needs. 11.7 million American children live in families that skip meals or eat less than necessary, because they aren't able to put more food on the table.
I am grateful for many things in life, but I am humbled every day when I remember southeast Asia. My trip to Laos taught me what poverty truly is. I keep that in mind when I think, "I have nothing to make for dinner." They would see a heavenly storehouse of food that could feed a family of four for several weeks. Since I made this paradigm shift, I've been able to appreciate my own creativity while eating what I've got on hand. (Like garbanzo beans or cans of indian food.)
The next time you eat, whatever you eat, be mindful and give thanks. Eating should be a right, but for many it is a privilege.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving Eve
I went to my acupuncturist today. She said that I have the strongest chi of any pregnant woman she's ever seen. That would be consistent with me being the calmest bride she'd ever seen when she evaluated me two days before the wedding.
She told me that she normally sees women in their first trimester on a weekly basis, going bi-weekly in the second trimester. She booked me four weeks out because that's how great my chi is. She said my kid is going to be strong and smart and that she won't be surprised when she sees this baby as the President of the USA in years to come.
What do you say to that?
I know that my pregnancy is progressing well. I feel healthy. Though I am tired, I know that I am strong. I haven't had any morning sickness. I am not moody. All-in-all I feel good. Some people would guess that means that I'm going to have a boy. We'll see. I think it's a girl.
I'm not the mother that is sitting here aspiring for my unborn child to rule the world. But I do hope that he or she leads an impactful life that makes the world a better place for his or her place in it. I aim to teach my baby to see the beauty in life, in ordinary, routine life. And I hope to be able to show them some of the world's wonders early to inspire him or her to go looking for more of that wonderment throughout his or her life.
I really intended to write about what I am grateful for so that the posting was up for the duration of Thanksgiving. However, I'm too tired to be able to write anymore right now. I need to be a good pregnant lady and listen to my body instead of my creative spirit.
My creative spirit is strong and getting stronger. I need to focus it and set goals for myself to ensure that I feed my soul while being a diligent and loving mother and wife.
Life is happening so quickly these days. Is it just me? Does anyone else feel the sudden change in the air?
I went to my acupuncturist today. She said that I have the strongest chi of any pregnant woman she's ever seen. That would be consistent with me being the calmest bride she'd ever seen when she evaluated me two days before the wedding.
She told me that she normally sees women in their first trimester on a weekly basis, going bi-weekly in the second trimester. She booked me four weeks out because that's how great my chi is. She said my kid is going to be strong and smart and that she won't be surprised when she sees this baby as the President of the USA in years to come.
What do you say to that?
I know that my pregnancy is progressing well. I feel healthy. Though I am tired, I know that I am strong. I haven't had any morning sickness. I am not moody. All-in-all I feel good. Some people would guess that means that I'm going to have a boy. We'll see. I think it's a girl.
I'm not the mother that is sitting here aspiring for my unborn child to rule the world. But I do hope that he or she leads an impactful life that makes the world a better place for his or her place in it. I aim to teach my baby to see the beauty in life, in ordinary, routine life. And I hope to be able to show them some of the world's wonders early to inspire him or her to go looking for more of that wonderment throughout his or her life.
I really intended to write about what I am grateful for so that the posting was up for the duration of Thanksgiving. However, I'm too tired to be able to write anymore right now. I need to be a good pregnant lady and listen to my body instead of my creative spirit.
My creative spirit is strong and getting stronger. I need to focus it and set goals for myself to ensure that I feed my soul while being a diligent and loving mother and wife.
Life is happening so quickly these days. Is it just me? Does anyone else feel the sudden change in the air?
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Home - Not at Work
I should be at work right now. I woke up this morning, got up and brushed my teeth. Though I'd made the giant stride to get out of bed, my body wasn't feeling up the challenge of starting the morning routine. I took my clean teeth back to bed and gave myself another hour plus to counter the fatigue that was so tightly wound into my muscles.
I woke up (this time without an alarm) and had to talk myself up. Though my body was relieved to have the extra time in bed, my rhinitis was rearing its ugly head and congestion was pressing in on me. I got up and made tea.
I'm supposed to take my iron supplement before eating, twice a day. It is a liquid, so it's not transportable for consumption pre-lunch. So, I need to take it at breakfast and dinner. That's not so easy-to-do. My stomach wants nothing but toast first thing in the morning. I started to grab for the bottle of iron in my vigilance to consume the nutrients I (and baby) need. As my hand touched the glass I could feel the bile in the back of my throat. Oh no. I'm not putting that down my throat right now. Hell no.
So, I've had toast and tea - as I do every day now.
I got an email back from my doctor telling me that the decongestant that I was interested in taking is now OTC. That's good news. But she strongly advised me to come in for an appointment to ensure that I don't have an upper respiratory infection. JEEZ. On the one hand, if I do have an upper respiratory infection - THAT SUCKS. On the other hand, at least it won't last the duration of my pregnancy like rhinitis could. So, now I'm on the fence. Do I go into the epicenter of illness to be evaluated, especially knowing that they might not do anything but prescribe rest and decongestants? Or do I wait-it-out, take OTC meds and see how I fare?
Though I often err on the side of self care rather than western medical opinions, I think in this case, an evaluation might be a good move. I've had these symptoms for nearly two weeks now. And they aren't getting better. Meanwhile, I'm feeling wiped out, as you do when you have slime pushing out of you through major orifices. (Grouse.)
RE: genetic testing that I mentioned yesterday. After posting my blog entry I found a forum on CVS by women who had the procedure. Though about half the women said that it was fine, or that it was only uncomfortable during the procedure, there were as many who said that if they would have known how much it was going to hurt that they never would have gone through it. One woman advised women to take 3 - 4 days bed rest (instead of the 24 hours that the doctors advise) because she only took the 24 hours and she was still bleeding 4 weeks later. She said that her pregnancy had been easy and uneventful prior to CVS and that the bleeding started immediately after and hadn't stopped. She'd had to go back to the doctors for evaluation because the medics were afraid that the bleeding might be an indication of a problem with her baby. Fortunately, her kid was fine.
So, I shared this with D and told him flatly that I'm not doing this procedure. I don't think that my baby has a genetic problem. And if it does, it would likely miscarry naturally before the amnio that is tentatively set on January 3. I feel better knowing that we've made this decision. And though I would like confirmation that everything is good and right with my baby, I am not willing to risk my health or the health of mini-me to get those results. We're fine. I'll just keep eating right and resting and walking and loving my husband and our baby and I believe that everything will be beautiful for all of us.
I should be at work right now. I woke up this morning, got up and brushed my teeth. Though I'd made the giant stride to get out of bed, my body wasn't feeling up the challenge of starting the morning routine. I took my clean teeth back to bed and gave myself another hour plus to counter the fatigue that was so tightly wound into my muscles.
I woke up (this time without an alarm) and had to talk myself up. Though my body was relieved to have the extra time in bed, my rhinitis was rearing its ugly head and congestion was pressing in on me. I got up and made tea.
I'm supposed to take my iron supplement before eating, twice a day. It is a liquid, so it's not transportable for consumption pre-lunch. So, I need to take it at breakfast and dinner. That's not so easy-to-do. My stomach wants nothing but toast first thing in the morning. I started to grab for the bottle of iron in my vigilance to consume the nutrients I (and baby) need. As my hand touched the glass I could feel the bile in the back of my throat. Oh no. I'm not putting that down my throat right now. Hell no.
So, I've had toast and tea - as I do every day now.
I got an email back from my doctor telling me that the decongestant that I was interested in taking is now OTC. That's good news. But she strongly advised me to come in for an appointment to ensure that I don't have an upper respiratory infection. JEEZ. On the one hand, if I do have an upper respiratory infection - THAT SUCKS. On the other hand, at least it won't last the duration of my pregnancy like rhinitis could. So, now I'm on the fence. Do I go into the epicenter of illness to be evaluated, especially knowing that they might not do anything but prescribe rest and decongestants? Or do I wait-it-out, take OTC meds and see how I fare?
Though I often err on the side of self care rather than western medical opinions, I think in this case, an evaluation might be a good move. I've had these symptoms for nearly two weeks now. And they aren't getting better. Meanwhile, I'm feeling wiped out, as you do when you have slime pushing out of you through major orifices. (Grouse.)
RE: genetic testing that I mentioned yesterday. After posting my blog entry I found a forum on CVS by women who had the procedure. Though about half the women said that it was fine, or that it was only uncomfortable during the procedure, there were as many who said that if they would have known how much it was going to hurt that they never would have gone through it. One woman advised women to take 3 - 4 days bed rest (instead of the 24 hours that the doctors advise) because she only took the 24 hours and she was still bleeding 4 weeks later. She said that her pregnancy had been easy and uneventful prior to CVS and that the bleeding started immediately after and hadn't stopped. She'd had to go back to the doctors for evaluation because the medics were afraid that the bleeding might be an indication of a problem with her baby. Fortunately, her kid was fine.
So, I shared this with D and told him flatly that I'm not doing this procedure. I don't think that my baby has a genetic problem. And if it does, it would likely miscarry naturally before the amnio that is tentatively set on January 3. I feel better knowing that we've made this decision. And though I would like confirmation that everything is good and right with my baby, I am not willing to risk my health or the health of mini-me to get those results. We're fine. I'll just keep eating right and resting and walking and loving my husband and our baby and I believe that everything will be beautiful for all of us.
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