I'm not sure what to write about first. I logged on tonight with the intention of relating my personal experience of the candida diet at the end of week one. But as soon as I started to type, the Dalai Lama came into my mind with a vivid mental picture; it insights me to reflect on two days in his presence first.

In the last two days I have truly studied. His Holiness was teaching two ancient advanced Buddhist texts. In fact, he said that the only way to reach enlightenment is to understand these lessons. The first text (Hymn to [the Buddha] The World Transcendent by Nagarjuna) was very difficult to follow; in a word, it was heady.

As I walked out my friend Derek asked if I was ok. In fact, I was floating through the world with my head swimming through my reality as I walked. Perhaps what I was feeling was the expansion of my neural net as it quickly built branches from the small roots of my prior understanding of buddhism into the tree of knowledge that I have been nurturing.

Though the first session was like mental gymnastics (and I was a little sore from being out of shape) I was eager to return to the auditorium and continue my learning today. The second text (In Praise of Dependent Origination by Je Tsongkhapa) was so well supported by the first. I was able to follow along more easily; the understanding was becoming a reality. On my way home on BART I re-read the text. My understanding came easily; I had learned what the author meant; that's a start. As I drove home from the train station it hit me: nothing means anything.

I think that I am going to ruminate over this and work on understanding before I summarize here. But I intend to summarize here (if anyone's interested).

So - back to food!

FAVA BEANS! If you haven't had them, you should try them. They are spring bounty. I often find myself looking at recipes for favas and am bummed that fresh ones aren't to be had. But if you are reading this in the spring, then you should seriously give them a try. They're fantastic. (Many restaurants include them on their specials.)

Tonight I fell upon a heaping mound of fresh favas at Berkeley Bowl (a grocery store, not a bowling alley). I bought two pounds. Because they are relatives of the pea they need to be shelled; a pound yields much less in the finished product. If you buy a pound a person you should be properly portioned.

Now that I have favas in hand I am unearthing my recipes. Here are a couple that I am considering for tomorrow's lunch/dinner.

Fava Beans with Yogurt, Lemon & Dill
Serves 4

• 4 pounds fresh fava beans in their pods
• 2 1/2 T. extra virgin olive oil
• 3 scallions, including some of the greens, thinly sliced
• 1 t. finely grated lemon zest
• 1 T. fresh lemon juice
• Salt & freshly milled pepper
• 3 T. finely chopped dill
• 1/3 cup yogurt, whisked until smooth

Shell the beans and peel them if they're large. Cook them in a medium skillet over medium heat in 1 T. of olive oil until they're tender, about 10 minutes, then stir in the scallions and turn off the heat. Whisk together the remaining oil, lemon zest, juice and a pinch of salt. Pour it over the beans, add most of the dill and gently mix everything together. Season with pepper. Pile the beans in a dish, drizzle with the yogurt over all and garnish with the remaining dill. Serve warm or chilled.
from Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone by Deborah Madison

Deborah Madison is a gifted cook who focuses her talent on creating flavorful, nutritious and healthy food. I would recommend this cookbook so highly. The recipes are inspiring and delicious.

Fava Bean Puree
Makes about 1 cup

• 2 pounds fava beans, shelled
• 1 1/2 T. extra-virgin olive oil
• Salt & pepper
• Fresh lemon juice

Bring a small pot of water to boil and salt lightly. Drop in the beans and cook until bright green, 1 or 2 minutes. Drain and rinse under cold water. Open the skin along the seam with your thumbnail and slip the beans out of their skins.
Heat the oil in a small saucepan and add the beans and a pinch each of salt & pepper. Cook over medium-low heat until tender, about 4 minutes, adding a little water to keep them moist. Tranfer to a small food processor and puree until smooth. Season with a few drops of lemon juice and salt & pepper to taste.
from Everyday Greens by Annie Somerville

Greens is a fantastic vegetarian restaurant in San Francisco. This is her second book, the first being Field of Greens. Her recipes are elegant in their simplicity. She has a true love of Champagne vinegar. When you buy this book, go straight to your gourmand/foodie supply and buy a bottle of some good champagne vinegar.

For Redhead Momma

Redhead is the only person that is asking me to blog. I haven't really told anyone about this blog. But she knows - and she knows that I'd be a good blogger.

Today is Day 5 of my Yeast Free Diet. The following are my dietary restrictions as listed by Marcelle Pick, OB/GYN NP:

1. Avoid yeast–containing foods:

• Beer, wine, and all other forms of alcohol
• Breads, rolls, pretzels, pastries, cookies, and sweet rolls
• B–complex vitamins and selenium products, unless labeled “yeast–free”
• Vinegar or foods containing vinegar, such as mustard, salad dressings, pickles, barbeque sauce, mayonnaise
• Commercially prepared foods such as soups, dry roasted nuts, potato chips, soy sauce, cider, natural root beer, olives, sauerkraut

2. Avoid mold–containing and mold–supporting foods:

• Pickled, smoked or dried meats, fish, and poultry
• Cured pork bacon
• All cheese, aged or fresh
• Mushrooms
• Tempeh
• Soy sauce, tamari, and miso
• Peanuts, peanut products, and pistachios
• Herbs and teas that may be moldy
• Malt or foods containing malt
• Canned or prepared tomatoes (fresh tomatoes are fine)

3. Avoid all concentrated sugars:

• Honey, maple syrup, brown sugar
• Fruit juices (canned, bottled, or frozen)
• Dried fruits
• All processed sugar
• Anything containing high–fructose corn syrup
• High glycemic index foods

What foods can you eat in a Candida diet?

• All fresh vegetables — a large variety, raw or lightly steamed, is best; be sure to include dark green leafy vegetables.
• Fresh protein at every meal, including beef, chicken, fish, turkey, eggs, and shellfish. Organic is best, but fresh is essential.
• Complex carbohydrates, including grains (rice, buckwheat, barley, millet, couscous), whole grain oatmeal, beans (kidney, lima, red beans), and certain types of pasta (whole wheat, spelt, corn, rice). Be careful not to get too many carbs — 15 grams per meal maximum.
• Unprocessed nuts and seeds, except peanuts.
• Unrefined olive, sesame, safflower and corn oils (be sure to keep them in the refrigerator after opening to prevent spoiling).
• Lemon juice with oil for salad dressing — this may be a prepared product, but be careful to avoid any salad dressing that contains vinegar.
• Beverages such as mineral or spring water, soy milk, and unprocessed nut milks.
• Limited quantities of fruit (three daily), unless you see a reaction, then limit to twice weekly. Avoid grapes, raisins, dates, prunes and figs.

Redhead told me that I was inspiring her with my ability to maintain a positive outlook despite so many restrictions. She feels like meal planning is a challenge. She asked me about my approach to this issue. (Thanks Red, I'm glad to know that I am inspiring. I think that means that I am on the right track.)

My answer is this: I know that I have to do this for my body. I know that I desperately need to take care of myself...or my symptoms will get worse. I feel this thing (yeast) inside of me and I know that I have to starve it to death by avoiding sugar. I can't complain that I have to be conscious and resolute about each thing that I put into my mouth. It's easy. I know that what goes in my mouth is really going into my body. I want my body to be stronger. I want to be comfortable in my own skin. I want to be healthy.

I have taken photos of my food choices since the start of my diet. I will post menus and photos of our gourmet "diet" food. I am impressed with the variety of foods that I can eat. I choose to focus on those. Our dinners have been amazing. I'm looking forward to sharing.

-PAUSE-

In the present moment I am looking forward to the future. Tomorrow I will sit in the presence of the H.H. Dalai Lama (with 7,000 others) . The thought of seeing him speak gives me a thrill. I am so grateful to be able to sit in his presence and absorb his peace and ponder the knowledge that he imparts. I must get ready for bed. Tomorrow I want to be well rested and ready to learn from His Holiness.

Namaste

Happy Birthday to Me

Today I am 35 years old. I celebrated by going to a historic hotel and brunching with 12 friends. I'm glad we had that planned. I'm not good about making decisions on my birthday.

I think this stems from the long history of bad omens that occurred on this day. On the morning of my 3rd birthday as we were sitting down to Sunday brunch a stranger came to the door. He knocked and apologized for hitting our cat. That wasn't the last pet to expire on April 15th. There were many. In addition to pets dying I've had a number of disappointments related to the people that should have be celebrating with me. So I've gotten into the habit of setting my sites low and expecting the worst. Needless to say, I'm not one of those that gets excited when my day draws near; quite the opposite, I'm usually grumpy.

It's interesting to me to see the differences in people when they react to their own birthdays. Some people, like myself, are reluctant to celebrate. Others draw up a gift list weeks in advance and start their own countdown for their friends. As I ponder the paradigm difference between these two birthday orientations I have to question if this is an indicator of personality type or related to a certain demographic.

Anyhow, I ate good food with good friends and I took a photo walk through the neighborhood with my fiance. I made a wish today when I blew out the candle but really, I have the most important things covered: a partner who supports me and encourages me to grow, a group of friends who love me and remind me why I'm special, a comfortable house complete with a warm bed and soft pillows.

35 feels good.

I feel like I am working my way through the world in much the same way as a middle school or high school student does. Though I have been successful in my career as a bookkeeper to small businesses, predominantly law firms, over the last seven years I am no longer able to continue plodding down this path. I never really intended to "be" a bookkeeper; I merely wanted to work as a bookkeeper to enable myself some flexibility in the creative pursuits that are truly my calling.

Today I am staying home. I am extending my two day weekend to a full four days. Yesterday I feel like I wasted much of the day. I didn't set goals to accomplish, thus I didn't get much done. Today I want to be different. In fact, I need to shift my paradigm on a day-by-day basis. I need to make some headway toward achieving the things that I want to do.

Why is it so hard? Why do I feel like I don't know what that is?

I am still in the same place that I was in middle/high school/undergrad (which I never completed.) I am interested and capable in a number of disciplines. However, I am not inspired enough to commit to any of them...and that's what it takes to move forward - commitment to one thing.

As I just wrote all that, it's clear to me what I want to do and what I need to do. I am working to be a paid, professional photographer. I would like to be given assignments that see me travel to other places to take photos of people, wilderness and monuments that are vastly different from what is here in the San Francisco Bay Area.

I'm going to work on that today...that and my f'ing taxes. BAH!