I haven't been taking photos. I miss photography. I've been pondering why I haven't picked up my camera (that I carry with me in my purse almost everywhere) in weeks. I didn't even take photos of Thanksgiving when we introduced Dustin's parents and my mom. I'm not taking walks like I used to in San Francisco. When I do, the light is rarely right (as it often was before). I don't have much time alone to explore the world and notice nuance as I did when I was single. I have been dealing with a lot of emotional issues since I reconciled with my father. I am a bit intimidated by D's technical knowledge. It impeded my artistic flow that used to be my guiding force to a great end result; I'm in my head. I work more (a lot more).

I miss taking photos. I miss my personal expression via that medium. I miss my recent memories being displayed so beautifully in the physical realm.

If you don't work in a tower then you don't know how culture develops up there. Dwelling in the tower requires adaptation. Imagine hovering suspended fifteen to fifty floors above lobby level; it feels like boarding a starship.

Today, as the corpies returned to duty you could see the leave hadn't left our eyes. We nearly walked by without seeing each other. Our pupils were focused but our brains were discordant. We hadn't surrendered to the rigidity of the work week. In our minds and our hearts, we were still free.

EBAY has EVERYTHING

EGYPTIAN KING TUT COFFIN (Made in Egypt)

Replica For Sale: King Tut's Second Coffin

Starting bid:

US $6,000.00

End time:

Nov-22-06 19:55:44 PST (1 day 20 hours)

Item location:

Springfield, IL, United States (how do I fix the spacing?)

History:

0 bids

THANKSGIVING

I am preparing for the big eating blitz that is this Thursday for those celebrating the U.S. holiday of Thanksgiving. My menu is representative of a lot of people's fare; people have been making slight variations on the same meal for two hundred years. wikipedia:thanksgiving . I have spent HOURS pouring over cookbooks (Joy of Cooking, Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone by Deborah Madison, Moosewood Low Fat by Mollie Katzen (Rebecca - I realized that I did try one of the Moosewood - at your engagement party), Food & Wine Best of the Best, How to Cook Everything, New York Times, Field of Greens) and online \ epicurious , sfgate , what's cooking america (check out the turduken photo - geez!), allrecipes and of course, Cook's Illustrated/America's Test Kitchen .

How is that we all spend so much time and energy preparing this one meal and we are all just replicating the same thing? It's kind of mind boggling. Nuances of preparation are the key. Perhaps this is what makes us human...echoing our individuality in the sweet potatoe pie or the variation on the stuffing/dressing on the same day that everyone else in the country is eating the same thing. Does that strike anyone else as odd?

This year my boyfriend, D & I are going to host. Thursday is not only a national holiday, it is also the day that we introduce our parents. I guess there's no guesswork left to why I've been so intent on having an excellent Thanksgiving feast. It's an auspicious occasion. My turkey will be delicious and moist, damn it!

It will. I'm actually not nervous (as some women would be) at all. I have hosted Thanksgiving before. I have actually made this turkey and gravy recipe before...and the stuffing...and mashed potatoes... The only snafu could come from bad timing. Here's the link I found to help with that: Cook's Illustrated: Game Plan.

It seems that Cook's Illustrated has little faith in its readership. We are following a recipe for cornmeal stuffing from the December 2000 issue of Cook's Illustrated. After a dissertation on the subtleties of corn bread stuffing it leads you to MAKE THE CORNBREAD. What's up with the website lowering the bar to " Up to 3 days before serving: Cut bread (for the stuffing) into cubes and leave out to stale." I feel like they think that we're cheating. Isn't the whole point that we are supposed to learn from their mistakes and follow their recipes because they are THE BEST? Whatever. Actually, I'm not following their corn bread recipe. It has sausage in it (I prefer a vegetarian stuffing), it has whipping cream in it (I've made stuffing before - it doesn't need whipping cream. Like we aren't getting enough fat in the rest of the meal? What's their point?) and two eggs. Now, I've seen a couple of recipes that use the eggs...but my mom didn't and D's mom didn't and I didn't when I made kick-ass stuffing before so I'm not feeling experimental.

Before I found that last link I actually had already planned to do the cornbread today b/c I knew it should be stale. So we went shopping today and the buttermilk cornbread is probably about ready to be eaten.

I'm going to go get some...

All Hallows Eve - NOW

This is my first post and I am stymied by what to say to a nameless readership that may or may not know me.
This pumpkin is symbolic to me. It was carved by guests of Bridget and Talha's Turkish Feast to celebrate the end of Ramadan. Perhaps celebrate isn't the right word. In case you are unfamiliar with this Muslim holiday, it is a month long fast that begins each day with the rising of the sun and ends each day when the sun has set. This fast includes everything you could bring into your body as nourishment, including water. I can only imagine how it would feel to finally end that level of self disciplined denial. I respect the Muslim's for their self discipline.

So, this pumpkin reminds me of the friends that I ate with that night. We have been in each other's company over the course of years. I had drifted away. Now I feel like I'm coming home.

Halloween - THEN

I grew up living with religious parents. They weren't at all conventional people, but they believe in God and taught me to fear him. At my mom's house we were taught that Halloween is a pagan holiday. Good Christians, like us, didn't celebrate it.

Each Halloween I spent at Mom's house meant one thing: another trip 'round the neighborhood wearing the angel costume I wore in the Christmas pageant in 1st grade. As you can imagine, within a couple of years I looked ridiculous...not an angel, but a poor sad Christian child struggling to enjoy what everyone else seemed to take for granted - Halloween candy.

In later years Halloween was my favorite holiday. I love pumpkins - probably stemming from their prohibited status while I was growing up. I love to eat them as pies and cookies and scones and ice cream. I love to roast pumpkin seeds. I love to see the aspiring jack-o-lanterns on display in the grocery stores. I love the creativity that people put into them. Pumpkins are food that we are encouraged to play with. They are divine.

- and pagan -

ha ha

maybe i am too.