3 days...or is it 2

I am about to be married. The implications of this are starting to set in. The happiness is welling up. We smile at each other in knowing ways that have new meaning and depth. Wow.

I can't take much time right now to contemplate this further and document my inner workings on this subject - I have a wedding to prepare for - and that's a full time job.

I did want to remember this moment though...the moment when I came to fuller understanding about my own marriage and what it will be. I feel like I'm diving into a cool pool. I'm holding my breath on the shore preparing to jump. I am about ready to do a canon ball of love.

I am sitting here contemplating how I will spend my time when I no longer have this wedding consuming so much of my attention. I see the bottom shelf, full of wedding books. I realize that in several weeks those books will be past tense; I will have no need for them. I will have walked through the portal door that is the aisle. I will re-emerge as a wife.

I still haven't decided whether to keep my name or to adopt a new identity as Mrs. D. Lately, I fancy the idea of keeping two of my initials - my current middle and last name. My new initials would be M.M.G.D. I'm still MG at the core but M.D. is on the outside. Somehow this seems strangely symmetrical as I look at it now.

Several people say that if I take this name that I must buy an M.G. car. I wouldn't mind. I've always wanted to have a car with the license plate M.G.'s MG . Wow. If I took this name professionally and used the car as a kind of marketing - could I write it off? (Such a bookkeeper.)

Lately I have been working toward becoming a published children's writer. When I envision my new name I often envision it on a book cover. Someday I know my new name will be published. Choosing a name feels like choosing a destiny. I am transforming my life. This engagement has been a chrysalis where I contemplate myself and the future while learning about the architecture and dynamics of this gaggle we call our (my fiance and my) family.

I think that there are some people tha would use the word families as opposed to family in the singular. But isn't this the point? That we are consummating the collective into relatives? We are Family. I just decided that we're going to have the entire family dance to We Are Family - anyone that is related to us will be on that floor.

The whole reason that I insisted on this wedding when Dustin wanted to elope, was because I wanted our wedding celebration to be a family affair. It will be a family affair.

Bride out