Week 41
Today marks the 9 month anniversary of my wedding. I had started to wonder if perhaps baby was waiting to hatch on this day - the 9 month anniversary of his conception. Well, labor hasn't started yet and it's nearly 10:00pm. It doesn't look like today is the day.
So, again I have to let go of my own conceptions of what his birth will be and/or when it will happen and just BE HERE NOW.
Today I went in for my second acupuncture appointment since I hit 40 weeks. My practitioner gave me a hug on the way out and declined to put me on her schedule. She doesn't think that I'll need another session. She believes that baby is on his way.
Tomorrow I go in for the non-stress test. They will be monitoring baby's movements and heartbeat, checking amniotic fluid levels, and evaluating his general well being in the womb. My acupuncturist feels confident that he is well and I agree completely. She noted that I don't have any swelling of the feet or ankles, that my pulse is strong and steady and that my body seems at ease and full of chi. She said that my pregnancy is the strongest that she has ever seen. I have to admit, except for a few bumps in the road, like indigestion, I have to agree.
After the non-stress test, I have my routine weekly prenatal appointment. The difference with this week is that my doctor will not be the attending physician. She will be working with the residents at the hospital, so she wasn't available to see me. The person that I will be meeting with will be a resident. I'm not sure if I should be concerned about this. I've heard of women who have gone into labor after a pelvic exam. I've heard of doctor's stripping membranes without consulting with the patient in advance. Even if neither of these fears is founded, I was also told that we would enter into a conversation about induction at this appointment. I would feel much more comfortable navigating this road with my doctor who is an osteopath and whom I trust. I DO NOT WANT TO BE INDUCED unless it is medically necessary for my health or the health of my baby.
So, I intend to push back tomorrow in this conversation. I won't let anyone near me with a needle or schedule a time to rupture my membranes until Friday at the earliest, and preferably on Monday - the start of Week 42. Of course, it is my hope that my acupuncturist is correct and I won't need further measures to see my labor start a natural course. If I come out of my appointments tomorrow with a date that they will induce, I will call my acupuncturist straight away and request another appointment (or two) prior to that date.
I've finally packed my bags (1 for labor, 1 for the hospital stay). I've got baby's coming home outfit in the dryer right now, so that will be in the bag by the end of the night. I have written the thank you cards for the gifts we have received to date. I've got food stocked in the kitchen. If he came tomorrow, I'd be ready. If he doesn't come tomorrow, I'll keep working toward feathering my nest...and finishing the project I mentioned before. I'm almost done. I'd better get back to that now.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
40 Weeks 4 Days
Still no sign of our son. I had hoped that he would come by now, but for a very silly reason. I wanted him to be a Gemini, not a Cancer. What difference does it make? In reality, none. I've always read that Aries (me) & Cancers have a harder time relating than Aries & Geminis do. So, I'm a little superstitious. Perhaps this is the first of many lessons that my little boy is here to teach me. The understanding that at best he'll be on the cusp and realistically he'll be a full on Cancer made me identify what's really important - he is.
I had been secretly hoping for his arrival today because 1) He'd be a Gemini 2) He'd have Summer Solstice as his birthday 3) He'd share his birthday with John Taylor, the bassist for Duran Duran. Oh well. June 20th is past tense. So, I move on.
Now I don't care when he comes. I just want him to come without medical induction. I didn't think that I would succumb to the folklore that is supposed to ease a kid out, but I started working to quicken the pace on the due date. My husband and I have been doing our homework: i.e. making love often. I've been walking. I went to acupuncture and had the points for labor stimulated the day after my due date. I've started using Evening Primrose Oil. We went for Indian food yesterday and I ordered one of the dishes "Medium." We went for tacos today and I ate the jalapeno carrots. (Spicy food is supposed to be a trigger.) I've even had a conversation with baby to let him know that I'm ready for him to come. I was trying to encourage him to come today since he'd have a solstice birthday and it would be cool to celebrate your birthday on the longest day of the year. Clearly, he has other plans.
In reality, he probably senses that I am not fully ready. Several weeks ago, I made a request of him. I asked him not to come until I had finished a particular project. I have not yet finished this task. I'm close, but it isn't done. Additionally, I didn't have my bag for the hospital packed. In fact, I hadn't even started to pack it until today. I also hadn't gotten a "home from the hospital" outfit for him. I know it's a short ride in the car to bring him home, but it seems like a momentous event. I really wanted to have something special to dress him in. I have second hand items that people gave me that would have worked. But none of them spoke to who my husband and I are, what our taste is. And for some reason, it felt really important to me to have his first outfit come from us. I am grateful for the clothes that we have inherited. Having them has saved us a ton of money at a time when we really need the financial assistance. And though spending $20 - $30 on an outfit that he may outgrow before he wears it twice isn't logical, it still felt important. I didn't find that outfit until today. Well, actually, I found it several days ago but my husband is frugal and couldn't understand why I felt the need to spend that money. Today he gave me the thumbs up to get the outfit & even upped it with a matching hat and a stuffed animal (also matching.)
So, if baby is sentient, which I believe he is, he intuitively knows that I haven't REALLY been ready. He knows that I am close to being completely settled and in a great place to greet him. But if he is intuitive, he knows that coming today would have seen me leaving ends untied. And really, we have a deal and I haven't finished my part of it yet. (I need to do that soon.)
I will work on my project in the cool part of tomorrow. I would be working on it now, but I have to have my feet up to help the swelling go down. I can't sit at my desk with my feet propped up and the ice bag on them the way I can on the couch. And trust me, I have Fred Flinstone feet & hands - they need help.
It was 96F today. It is supposed to be 92F tomorrow. We don't have air conditioning. We only have two fans. Furthermore, our main living space, the open living room, dining room, kitchen, have a wall of windows that absorb the afternoon to evening sun. When it's 96F out there, it's got to be 10 - 15 degrees hotter in here. Though I want to work on my project, I cannot. I have to escape this heat. Today we went and saw Kung Fu Panda because the movie theater is one of the only institutions in this area with A/C. Tomorrow we are going to a museum, because they too should have a system to combat the heat and normalize the temperature to a comfortable level.
Some people say that heat is another trigger for labor. Apparently, that's not true. Either that, or baby has amazing integrity and is keeping his promise to let me finish my work.
I love you baby.
Still no sign of our son. I had hoped that he would come by now, but for a very silly reason. I wanted him to be a Gemini, not a Cancer. What difference does it make? In reality, none. I've always read that Aries (me) & Cancers have a harder time relating than Aries & Geminis do. So, I'm a little superstitious. Perhaps this is the first of many lessons that my little boy is here to teach me. The understanding that at best he'll be on the cusp and realistically he'll be a full on Cancer made me identify what's really important - he is.
I had been secretly hoping for his arrival today because 1) He'd be a Gemini 2) He'd have Summer Solstice as his birthday 3) He'd share his birthday with John Taylor, the bassist for Duran Duran. Oh well. June 20th is past tense. So, I move on.
Now I don't care when he comes. I just want him to come without medical induction. I didn't think that I would succumb to the folklore that is supposed to ease a kid out, but I started working to quicken the pace on the due date. My husband and I have been doing our homework: i.e. making love often. I've been walking. I went to acupuncture and had the points for labor stimulated the day after my due date. I've started using Evening Primrose Oil. We went for Indian food yesterday and I ordered one of the dishes "Medium." We went for tacos today and I ate the jalapeno carrots. (Spicy food is supposed to be a trigger.) I've even had a conversation with baby to let him know that I'm ready for him to come. I was trying to encourage him to come today since he'd have a solstice birthday and it would be cool to celebrate your birthday on the longest day of the year. Clearly, he has other plans.
In reality, he probably senses that I am not fully ready. Several weeks ago, I made a request of him. I asked him not to come until I had finished a particular project. I have not yet finished this task. I'm close, but it isn't done. Additionally, I didn't have my bag for the hospital packed. In fact, I hadn't even started to pack it until today. I also hadn't gotten a "home from the hospital" outfit for him. I know it's a short ride in the car to bring him home, but it seems like a momentous event. I really wanted to have something special to dress him in. I have second hand items that people gave me that would have worked. But none of them spoke to who my husband and I are, what our taste is. And for some reason, it felt really important to me to have his first outfit come from us. I am grateful for the clothes that we have inherited. Having them has saved us a ton of money at a time when we really need the financial assistance. And though spending $20 - $30 on an outfit that he may outgrow before he wears it twice isn't logical, it still felt important. I didn't find that outfit until today. Well, actually, I found it several days ago but my husband is frugal and couldn't understand why I felt the need to spend that money. Today he gave me the thumbs up to get the outfit & even upped it with a matching hat and a stuffed animal (also matching.)
So, if baby is sentient, which I believe he is, he intuitively knows that I haven't REALLY been ready. He knows that I am close to being completely settled and in a great place to greet him. But if he is intuitive, he knows that coming today would have seen me leaving ends untied. And really, we have a deal and I haven't finished my part of it yet. (I need to do that soon.)
I will work on my project in the cool part of tomorrow. I would be working on it now, but I have to have my feet up to help the swelling go down. I can't sit at my desk with my feet propped up and the ice bag on them the way I can on the couch. And trust me, I have Fred Flinstone feet & hands - they need help.
It was 96F today. It is supposed to be 92F tomorrow. We don't have air conditioning. We only have two fans. Furthermore, our main living space, the open living room, dining room, kitchen, have a wall of windows that absorb the afternoon to evening sun. When it's 96F out there, it's got to be 10 - 15 degrees hotter in here. Though I want to work on my project, I cannot. I have to escape this heat. Today we went and saw Kung Fu Panda because the movie theater is one of the only institutions in this area with A/C. Tomorrow we are going to a museum, because they too should have a system to combat the heat and normalize the temperature to a comfortable level.
Some people say that heat is another trigger for labor. Apparently, that's not true. Either that, or baby has amazing integrity and is keeping his promise to let me finish my work.
I love you baby.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Due Date
Today I woke up and went to my prenatal appointment. Today I am full term. Today is the date the doctor projected for our baby's arrival when she confirmed our pregnancy so many months ago. At the time, it felt like a date so far away. Through the weeks since then I have learned so much about fetal development, prenatal health & nutrition, comfort measures, and labor & delivery.
All the research I've done has been fascinating. But what's most memorable is the visceral feeling of bonding with an unborn being. I've never met my son, but I already know a little about him. I know that he gets cranky and squirms when he's hungry. I know that he opens and closes his fists in contentment when he's well-fed. I know that he is comforted by his father's voice & touch. I know that he knows that we love him.
For the last few weeks, I've been aware that he could come at any time. But now that the due date has come and is about to go, this reality becomes that much more punctuated. Each day that passes raises the probability of the following day's delivery.
So, here I sit, making an entry in a quiet home, writing at my leisure and for my own enjoyment with the vivid understanding that this life I live now is fleeting and will soon shift to a similar but alternate reality. Though I am looking forward to holding my baby in my arms and seeing his face for the first time, I am enjoying these final moments of personal freedom and minimal distraction.
Today I woke up and went to my prenatal appointment. Today I am full term. Today is the date the doctor projected for our baby's arrival when she confirmed our pregnancy so many months ago. At the time, it felt like a date so far away. Through the weeks since then I have learned so much about fetal development, prenatal health & nutrition, comfort measures, and labor & delivery.
All the research I've done has been fascinating. But what's most memorable is the visceral feeling of bonding with an unborn being. I've never met my son, but I already know a little about him. I know that he gets cranky and squirms when he's hungry. I know that he opens and closes his fists in contentment when he's well-fed. I know that he is comforted by his father's voice & touch. I know that he knows that we love him.
For the last few weeks, I've been aware that he could come at any time. But now that the due date has come and is about to go, this reality becomes that much more punctuated. Each day that passes raises the probability of the following day's delivery.
So, here I sit, making an entry in a quiet home, writing at my leisure and for my own enjoyment with the vivid understanding that this life I live now is fleeting and will soon shift to a similar but alternate reality. Though I am looking forward to holding my baby in my arms and seeing his face for the first time, I am enjoying these final moments of personal freedom and minimal distraction.
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