I feel like I am working my way through the world in much the same way as a middle school or high school student does. Though I have been successful in my career as a bookkeeper to small businesses, predominantly law firms, over the last seven years I am no longer able to continue plodding down this path. I never really intended to "be" a bookkeeper; I merely wanted to work as a bookkeeper to enable myself some flexibility in the creative pursuits that are truly my calling.

Today I am staying home. I am extending my two day weekend to a full four days. Yesterday I feel like I wasted much of the day. I didn't set goals to accomplish, thus I didn't get much done. Today I want to be different. In fact, I need to shift my paradigm on a day-by-day basis. I need to make some headway toward achieving the things that I want to do.

Why is it so hard? Why do I feel like I don't know what that is?

I am still in the same place that I was in middle/high school/undergrad (which I never completed.) I am interested and capable in a number of disciplines. However, I am not inspired enough to commit to any of them...and that's what it takes to move forward - commitment to one thing.

As I just wrote all that, it's clear to me what I want to do and what I need to do. I am working to be a paid, professional photographer. I would like to be given assignments that see me travel to other places to take photos of people, wilderness and monuments that are vastly different from what is here in the San Francisco Bay Area.

I'm going to work on that today...that and my f'ing taxes. BAH!