40 Weeks 4 Days


Still no sign of our son. I had hoped that he would come by now, but for a very silly reason. I wanted him to be a Gemini, not a Cancer. What difference does it make? In reality, none. I've always read that Aries (me) & Cancers have a harder time relating than Aries & Geminis do. So, I'm a little superstitious. Perhaps this is the first of many lessons that my little boy is here to teach me. The understanding that at best he'll be on the cusp and realistically he'll be a full on Cancer made me identify what's really important - he is.

I had been secretly hoping for his arrival today because 1) He'd be a Gemini 2) He'd have Summer Solstice as his birthday 3) He'd share his birthday with John Taylor, the bassist for Duran Duran. Oh well. June 20th is past tense. So, I move on.

Now I don't care when he comes. I just want him to come without medical induction. I didn't think that I would succumb to the folklore that is supposed to ease a kid out, but I started working to quicken the pace on the due date. My husband and I have been doing our homework: i.e. making love often. I've been walking. I went to acupuncture and had the points for labor stimulated the day after my due date. I've started using Evening Primrose Oil. We went for Indian food yesterday and I ordered one of the dishes "Medium." We went for tacos today and I ate the jalapeno carrots. (Spicy food is supposed to be a trigger.) I've even had a conversation with baby to let him know that I'm ready for him to come. I was trying to encourage him to come today since he'd have a solstice birthday and it would be cool to celebrate your birthday on the longest day of the year. Clearly, he has other plans.

In reality, he probably senses that I am not fully ready. Several weeks ago, I made a request of him. I asked him not to come until I had finished a particular project. I have not yet finished this task. I'm close, but it isn't done. Additionally, I didn't have my bag for the hospital packed. In fact, I hadn't even started to pack it until today. I also hadn't gotten a "home from the hospital" outfit for him. I know it's a short ride in the car to bring him home, but it seems like a momentous event. I really wanted to have something special to dress him in. I have second hand items that people gave me that would have worked. But none of them spoke to who my husband and I are, what our taste is. And for some reason, it felt really important to me to have his first outfit come from us. I am grateful for the clothes that we have inherited. Having them has saved us a ton of money at a time when we really need the financial assistance. And though spending $20 - $30 on an outfit that he may outgrow before he wears it twice isn't logical, it still felt important. I didn't find that outfit until today. Well, actually, I found it several days ago but my husband is frugal and couldn't understand why I felt the need to spend that money. Today he gave me the thumbs up to get the outfit & even upped it with a matching hat and a stuffed animal (also matching.)

So, if baby is sentient, which I believe he is, he intuitively knows that I haven't REALLY been ready. He knows that I am close to being completely settled and in a great place to greet him. But if he is intuitive, he knows that coming today would have seen me leaving ends untied. And really, we have a deal and I haven't finished my part of it yet. (I need to do that soon.)

I will work on my project in the cool part of tomorrow. I would be working on it now, but I have to have my feet up to help the swelling go down. I can't sit at my desk with my feet propped up and the ice bag on them the way I can on the couch. And trust me, I have Fred Flinstone feet & hands - they need help.

It was 96F today. It is supposed to be 92F tomorrow. We don't have air conditioning. We only have two fans. Furthermore, our main living space, the open living room, dining room, kitchen, have a wall of windows that absorb the afternoon to evening sun. When it's 96F out there, it's got to be 10 - 15 degrees hotter in here. Though I want to work on my project, I cannot. I have to escape this heat. Today we went and saw Kung Fu Panda because the movie theater is one of the only institutions in this area with A/C. Tomorrow we are going to a museum, because they too should have a system to combat the heat and normalize the temperature to a comfortable level.

Some people say that heat is another trigger for labor. Apparently, that's not true. Either that, or baby has amazing integrity and is keeping his promise to let me finish my work.

I love you baby.