It Takes a Village

Since I've been pregnant, I have heard an expression used several times in regard to child rearing: "It takes a village..." Conceptually, I understood this from the get-go. I'm sure as I walk my path into motherhood that I will grok this even more. As I approach the portal of change that childbirth is, I am reveling in the truth of this statement. So many people have contributed so much to my experience already: The mothers I have looked to for guidance on equipment and experience; the families that have passed gear and clothing to us to lessen the need for us to spend a mint on transitional items that are only needed for a short time; the co-workers, family, and friends who brought baby gifts to my shower; the women I am meeting in my community who I will grow to be friends with as we share this experience of having infants and toddlers together. I look around my house and see so much that was a gift for our coming baby. It is touching me deeply to know that so many people are caring for us as a young family.

I think that this is an especially valuable lesson for me because I have tended to be a very independent and self-reliant person since childhood. I tend to find myself caring for not only my own needs, but for the needs of others as well. Accepting people's help hasn't come naturally to me. It is something that I reluctantly accept when I am in dire straights and am fully aware that I am too sick or too needy to continue on without aid.

So, this is a lesson from the universe about accepting the generosity of others. Meanwhile, I am working to release the former habit of clutching to possessions. I came to realize during this move that I had carted some things around with me for more than a decade. How does someone have the same incense for 15 years and not finish it and not get rid of it? How does someone move an empty picture frame that they never liked in the first place from house-to-house-to-house. In total, this frame saw the inside of at least five houses but it was never used. These are just a couple of examples of things that I finally recognized myself clinging to for no good reason. Upon self-examination, I believe that the root of this was because of an underlying fear that I would not be able to replace these things if I let them go. I have accumulated a mass of things, and there is some feeling of security in knowing that I have them around me, just in case I fail in the future and am unable to right my footing and hold my ground.

As I write this, it seems irrational. I guess that I should admit that it is irrational, but it is also past tense. I vowed not to move that incense again. And that photo frame is already at Good Will. Additionally, I have gone through my toiletries and rid myself of the toothbrushes I collected from the guest houses in Japan (in case we had a guest and they needed a toothbrush) and the hotel size shampoos that I retained from Greece, Hawaii, and Thailand. I found a women's homeless shelter and delivered these items in a large shopping bag. Someone will enjoy them. In fact, someone may be grateful for them. And I am grateful to have them gone.

It's been a long time since I've had that feeling of lightness that comes from helping other people. I realized that I used to feel like that a lot; I used to perform many random acts of kindness to help ease the suffering in the world. As I near motherhood and I feel less inclined to donate money to organizations because our income is shrinking even as our family budgeting needs increase, I am happy to remember that I can give of myself in other ways and reap the rewards of knowing that I've genuinely made someone's day.