That last post was a bummer. It doesn't speak to the wonder that I feel as I walk through my days. It doesn't really reflect my inner climate of faith and hope for the future. It isn't what I really want to focus on. My way of living is unusual to many. I believe in visions of the future and my ability to make things happen by wishing for them.

My husband is a freelance writer. He interviews high profile creators, singers, producers, animators, film makers, and the like. He talks to them about their latest projects and learns how they use cutting edge technology to make their visions a reality that they share with the general public.

Several months ago when I was feeling less solid in my conviction that I can make things happen and felt more aimless than focused in my career and my life path he said something I will never forget. He said that I am like all the ultra successful people that he talks to every day.

I am not a follower, I am a visionary and a leader.

I am an artist.

I reflect the beauty of the world.

I am at a huge cross roads in life now. I am newly married (3 months on December 23rd). I am pregnant (expecting mid-June 2008.) I am finally taking steps to walk away from the bookkeeping business that I started seven years ago, with the intention of doing it only part time so that I could write, sing, and write music.

I'm at this point where I can't help but ask, "What's next." I know - motherhood. But I know that there is something more in my life calling me forward as well. This may be school. It may a new part-time endeavor that I enjoy more than logging numbers, I'm just not sure.

I don't know how to find the answer to this question. I just know that I will figure it out, or I'll start taking steps in one direction to find out if that is in fact what I want.

WHAT I WANT

• I want to help people.
• I want to propagate beauty in the world.
• I want work to be an act of love.
• I want to nurture goodness in the world.
• I want to learn.
• I want to grow.
• I want to travel.
• I want to explore.
• I want to laugh.
• I want to share.